Joey Kola - God's Comedy

  • Season 7 , Ep 21
  • 07/10/2003
  • Views: 5,649

Fart jokes are comedy from god. (2:54)

Joey Kola: THE MALE SILVER BACK

GORILLA EATS 60 POUNDS OF

VEGETATION A DAY.

THAT'S ALL FIBER.

COULD YOU IMAGINE THE WONDERFUL,

BEAUTIFUL POOP THAT THIS THING

MUST TAKE?

THAT'S WHY THEY BEAT THEIR

CHEST!

I'D BE BEATIN' MY CHEST TOO

IF I HAD 60 POUNDS OF CRAP

COMIN' OUT OF ME!

I'D BE LIKE, "YEAH, LOOK WHAT

I MADE!"

[APPLAUSE]

THERE'S ANOTHER SACRED PLACE

TO MEN THAT WOMEN'LL NEVER

UNDERSTAND, THE BATHROOM.

'CAUSE YOU LADIES, YOU'RE IN,

YOU'RE OUT, ONE PIECE OF TOILET

PAPER, YOU'RE GONE, THAT'S IT.

NO NEED TO EVEN SPRAY WHEN

YOU'RE DONE.

WHEN I'M DONE, YOU GOTTA SEND

A CANARY IN THERE TO SEE IF

THE AIR IS BREATHABLE OR NOT

'CAUSE WE MARK OUR TERRITORY.

MEN LIKE TO SIT IN THERE

A LONG TIME, RIGHT GUYS?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

[APPLAUSE]

YOU SIT THERE--

YOU'RE SITTIN' THERE SO LONG

YOUR LEGS ARE NUMB, YOUR ASS IS

SWEATIN', YOU'RE FOCUSED ON THAT

ONE TILE ABOVE THE TUB

AND YOU'RE AT ONE WITH GOD.

IT'S LIKE, "ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA,

ALLELUIA."

[LAUGHTER]

I LOST THAT EXPERIENCE WHEN

I HAD KIDS.

THE KIDS DON'T CARE WHEN YOU'RE

GOIN' TO THE BATHROOM.

THEY JUST WANNA COME IN AND OUT.

THEY JUST WANNA RUN IN AND OUT

WHENEVER YOU'RE IN THERE.

I'M SITTIN' IN THERE ONE TIME.

I'M ON THE BOWL.

AND MY DAUGHTER COMES RUNNIN'

IN, KID JUST RUNNIN' OUT,

THEY DON'T EVEN CARE IF I'M

THERE OR NOT.

AND MY DAUGHTER COMES IN,

WANTS ME TO SING

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB.

[LAUGHTER]

AND YOU KNOW YOU'VE HIT ROCK

BOTTOM IN LIFE WHEN YOU'RE ON

THE TOILET BOWL GOIN',

♪ MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB ♪

♪ LITTLE LAMB ♪

♪ LITTLE LAMB ♪

♪ MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB ♪

♪ WHOSE FLEECE ♪

♪ WAS WHITE AS SNOW ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SEE?

I'M WATCHIN' YOU GUYS NOW,

IT'S MOSTLY THE MEN APPLAUDING

'CAUSE WOMEN RIGHT AWAY,

YOU DO A FART JOKE AND THEY'RE

LIKE, "IT'S DISGUSTING."

IT IS NOT!

IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING ON THE

PLANET, LADIES!

IT'S HYSTERICAL!

EVERY MAN IN HERE, THEY'RE

LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF!

I'M TELLIN' YA!

YOU COULD BE THE PRESIDENT

OF IBM, [GAS NOISE]

HA, HA, HA, HA.

YOU ARE LAUGHIN' 'CAUSE FARTING

IS FUNNY!

THAT'S IT!

THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!

AND I'M TELLIN' YA, FARTING

IS THE FUNNIEST THING ON THE

PLANET.

EVERY MAN IN HERE, YOU WON'T

EVEN KNOW WE'RE DOIN'--

[GAS NOISE]

"HOW YA DOIN'?"

AND WE'LL LAUGH RIGHT AWAY.

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN WE DO

IT 'CAUSE IT'S HYSTERICAL AND

IT'S COMEDY FROM GOD.

IT IS!

IT'S A GIFT FROM GOD

AND IT'S COMEDY FROM GOD.

LET ME TELL YOU WHY IT'S COMEDY

FROM GOD.

HE COULDA CHOSE TO TAKE THAT

AIR, PASS IT THROUGH ANY PART OF

OUR BODY, OUR EYE, OUR EAR,

OUR NAVEL'S DO NUTHIN'.

WHEN IT CAME OUT, NOBODY WOULD

HAVE KNOWN, NO. BUT NO, HE

CHOSE TAKE THIS MUCH AIR ADD

THIS MUCH MOISTURE AND PASS IT

THROUGH THE TWO BIGGEST FLAPS

OF HAM WE GOT ON OUR BODY AND

[GAS NOISE] IS THE RESULT.

AND IF YOU DON'T LAUGH,

YOU ARE DISRESPECTING THE LORD!

[CHEERS, WHISTLES, APPLAUSE]

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