Joe Yannetty - California Weather

  • Season 1, Ep 2
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 4,424

You know who needs to be rescued in four feet of water? Guys three-foot-eleven and shorter. (2:15)

YOU EVER BEEN TOSOUTHERN CALIFORNIA?

IT RAINS AND THEHOUSES FALL DOWN.

IT'S NOT LIKE THE ROOF CAVES INAND THE WINDOWS BREAK,A WHOLE HOUSE.

TWO INCHES OF RAIN,HMM, NOTHIN' LEFT

AND THEY DON'T UNDERSTANDWHY THIS HAPPENED.

IN CALIFORNIA THEY FIGUREHERE'S A CLIFF,

LET'S BUILD A HOUSERIGHT THERE.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTANDWHY IT FELL.

IF YOU CAN LOOK OVER THE EDGEAND GO... WOW...IT WOULD SUCK IF THIS FELL.

IT WILL.

THEN THEY BUILD A HOUSE ATTHE BOTTOM OF THE CLIFF.

WOW...IT SUCK IFTHAT CAME DOWN.

BUY A HELMET.

SEE WE GOT FOUR BORINGSEASONS ON THE EAST COAST,

WINTER, SPRING, SUMMERAND FALL.

YOU EVER BEENTO CALIFORNIA?

WIND, FIRE, MUD,EARTHQUAKES.

FIRST, IT'S VERY WINDY FORA LONG TIME,THEN DRIES EVERYTHING OUT.

THEN SOME IDIOT THROWSHIS CIGARETTE OUT THE WINDOWON THE FREEWAY...

HALF THE STATE CATCHES ON FIRE,THAT'S CHANGE OF SEASONS.

THEN THE RAIN COMES ANDPUTS OUT THE FIRE,

BUT STAYS TOO LONG.YOU GO HOME AND

THERE'S FOUR FEET OF MUDIN YOUR KITCHEN...

...AND ITS 35 MILES FROMTHE LIVING ROOM.

PEOPLE GET STUCK INFLOODS IN THEIR CAR.

HOW DO GET STUCK IN AFLOOD IN YOUR CAR?

HERE'S A HINT. THE CAR IN FRONTOF YOU IS FLOATING, REVERSE.

THE TOWN I LIVED IN, PEOPLE INA SUPERMARKET PARKING LOT

HAD TO BE RESCUED INFOUR FEET OF WATER.

YOU KNOW WHO NEEDS TO BE RESCUEDIN FOUR FEET OF WATER,

PEOPLE THREE FOOT ELEVENAND SHORTER.

SAW A GUY CARRYINGA ROTTWEILER.

YOU EVER SEENA ROTTWEILER?

THE TYRANNOSAURUSREX OF DOGS.

THE GUY IS WALKINGIN WATER UP TO HIS KNEES

CARRYING A 165-POUND DOGCRYING, SOMEBODY HELP MY DOG.

THE DOG'S GOING...PUT ME DOWN MORON.

REMEMBER THE BEACH?YOU THROW THE BALL,

I SWIM OUT BRING IT BACK,SAME STUFF.

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