Signing Bonus

  • Season 2 , Ep 5
  • 02/11/2014
  • Views: 3,801

Ref Jeff and the inventor of an elaborate umbrella pitch their business ideas to a panel of potential investors. (2:22)

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FOR HIS NEW INVENTION.

- IT'S GOOD, Y'ALL.LIKE, GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS.

YO, YO, BUT LET ME, LIKE,ASK YOU THIS, THOUGH.

LIKE, WHAT KEEPS YOUFROM GETTING WET IN THE RAIN

WHEN IT'S, LIKE, WET?

- UMBRELLA.- AN UMBRELLA.

- RIGHT, I [bleep] WITH THAT,BUT, LIKE,

WHAT KEEPS THE UMBRELLAFROM GETTING WET?

BOOM, YOU SEE THAT?THAT'S THE TOP UMBRELLA,

AND IT--IT KEEPTHE BOTTOM UMBRELLA NICE AND DRY

SO YOU'RE, LIKE, NOT WETWITH THE--YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- THE SECOND UMBRELLAIS GONNA BE WET.

- RIGHT.

- WHY DO YOU NEED TO KEEPTHE UNDER UMBRELLA DRY?

- HONESTLY, LIKE, IMAGINEYOU'RE WITH A BITCH, RIGHT?

SHE GOT THE MOTHER[bleep] CLAPAND ALL THAT.

MY [bleep] STEVE CAUGHT THAT,

BUT LIKE, HAD HE HADTWO CONDOMS,

THE FIRST ONE WOULDA BROKE,

SECOND ONE,HE WOULDA BEEN ALL GOOD.

- OKAY, SO THIS ISA CUMBERSOME PHYSICAL METAPHOR

FOR SEXUAL MISFORTUNE?

- LIKE, HONESTLY, LIKE,THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

- I AM PREPARED TO INVESTTHE FULL 5 MILLION.

- THAT'S WHAT'S UP, MAN.

narrator: NEXT UP IS JEFF,A DISGRACED NBA REFEREE.

- OKAY.

YOU GUYS HAVING FUN TODAY?

- YEAH.- LOT OF GOOD PITCHES.

- YES, YES.- YEAH.

- YOU GUYS LOCK IN PLANSFOR AFTERWARDS, OR...

OOF.

- UH, I'M SORRY?

- DID YOU GUYSLOCK IN PLANS FOR--

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE DONESHOOTING, OR--

- I'M PROBABLYJUST GONNA GO HOME.

- THIS IS NOT NERVES.

I'M COMPLETELY COMFORTABLEIN THIS SITUATION.

- IT APPEARSEXACTLY LIKE NERVES.

- YEAH.

A LOT OF PRO ATHLETESGET OUT THERE,

THEY'RE BIG BROTHERS,BIG SISTERS,

STUFF LIKE THAT, OKAY,

BUT THERE'S NO MONEY IN THAT,RIGHT?

SO HERE'S THE PITCH.

IT'S LIKE A--SO HERE'S THE PITCH.

IT'S CALLED "HANG TIME,"OKAY?

YOU GUYS, PROFESSIONAL ATHLETESGO AND HANG OUT,

NOT WITH KIDS,BUT WITH COOL ADULTS.

- UH, I'M A HARD "NO."

- DANTE?

- NO WAY IN HELL, OR HELL NO.TAKE IT EITHER WAY YOU WANT IT.

- ALL RIGHT, I'LL CHOOSETHAT ONE ON MY--ON MY OWN TIME.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.- MATTEUS?

- YOU SEEM TERRIBLEAND YOUR BODY CONFUSES ME.

- ALL RIGHT.

NO.

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