Jake Johannsen - Empire State Building

Brill, Flynn, Lank & Earl Season 2, Ep 10 05/24/1993 Views: 650

Hiring a psychiatrist to screen tourists wouldn't be cheap. (1:55)

you should see our othershow, "Six-Drink Minimum."


But, uh, we're havin--we've been in New York

now for about a week, and, soI'm really enjoying the sights.

We went up to see the EmpireState Building, which they

have, like they have abig fence at the top.

There's a big fence,you know, to keep

people from jumping off.

I guess it's cheaper thanhiring a psychiatrist

to screen all the tourists.

That'd get a littletime consuming,

some big guy's up there,"Daddy says I'm naughty!"

Why don't you just lookaround the gift shop

and try again tomorrow?

I guess maybe they're tryingto prevent people from

accidentally falling off thetop of the Empire State--

I can't imagine whatthat-- "Look at the cars,

they're so ti--argh!"

You could make anargument that we're

better off withoutthose people anyway.

Natural selection's beenworking pretty good for us

since the saber tooth tiger.

Anyway, I'm having agood time in New York.

A little different than LosAngeles where I live now.

Although, I suppose,do-- it shouldn't matter,

wherever I am, itshould all be the same,

I pretty much live aloneexcept for my uh, uh, cat.

And I, I have a you know,I have uh, I have a,

we've been out here aweek and, uh, how long?

About a week?

Hypothetically, um,

how long do you think a catcould live without food?

Uh-- OK, I'm not, I'mnot, hypothetically.

Um, some food.

I mean, on the firstday, assume, like,

a big bowl of foodon the first day, OK?

Not-- I mean, I'm not saying me,I'm not-- just like hypothet--

I mean, it's like, an ideafor screenplay that I have.

About a cat that's athome alone, or ca--

It's like "HomeAlone" and "Benjy,"

you know, mixed together.

Anyway, I've got tomake a phone call.

Um, I'm going to bring outour first comedian, who likes