Eugene Mirman - Made Up Stereotypes

  • Season 12 , Ep 7
  • 01/31/2008
  • Views: 10,393

You can't just make up stereotypes and present them as if they're real. (2:49)

AND SO I HAVE.AND I DON'T HAVE A NAME FOR IT,

BUT I DO HAVE ONE RULE,WHICH IS,

BEFORE I MAKE ANY PAINTINGIN THIS ART FORM,

I HAVE TO GO OUTSIDEAND I HAVE TO YELL,

"SOCIETY,READY YOUR BRAIN MOUTH

FOR MY MIND [BLEEP]."AND THEN I'M READY.

SO I WANTED TO TELL YOUTHE TITLES OF SOME OF THESE.

THE ONE IN THE CORNER IS--THAT'S THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT

- THROWING HEAVEN AT CHINA.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THAT ONE IS TELEVISION NEWSTHROWING UP ON MATH.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THIS ONE, A PERSONAL FAVORITE,THAT'S KARL ROVE

THROWING HIS OWN BALLSAT THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND IF THIS ISAIRING IN THE FUTURE

AND NO ONE KNOWSWHO KARL ROVE IS,

HE'S THE REASONYOU ALL LIVE UNDERGROUND.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

I WAS IN AN ELEVATOR.IT WAS ABOUT THIS BIG,

MAYBE A LITTLE BIGGER.AND IT WAS FULL OF PEOPLE.

AND THIS GUY-- SARCASTICALLY--'CAUSE IT DIDN'T REALLY

MAKE SENSE, GOES,"THERE ARE BIGGER ELEVATORSTHAN THIS IN RUSSIA."

PROBABLY. THAT'S NOT ONE OF

THE PRE-AGREED UPONSTEREOTYPES OF RUSSIA.

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE LONG LINESAND IT'S COLD THERE.

BUT YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE UPRANDOM INFORMATION AND SAY IT

SARCASTICALLY ANDHAVE IT MAKE SENSE.

YOU CAN'T JUST BE LIKE,I WENT OUT ON A DATEWITH THIS JEWISH GIRL,

SHE WAS MORE RUDETHAN A WOLF CAT.

AN ANIMAL I'VE MADE UPAND DECIDED IS RUDE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I CALLED AMTRAK TO GET A TICKETAND THEY HAVE A BUNCH OF

QUESTIONS THAT THEY ASK YOU.AND ONE OF THE QUESTIONS IS

"ARE YOU 65 OR BETTER?"

THAT'S THE WRONG WORDFOR THE THING YOU MEAN.

THAT'S CONDESCENDINGAND INSULTING TO OLD PEOPLE.

LIKE THEY'RE GONNA BE LIKE,"YEA! I'M BETTER.

I NEVER SAW IT THAT WAY."

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