As we've seen, as we've seen,
the Trump administration'stravel ban is confusing AF.
For our over 35 viewers
that means as (bleep).
And no one has more questionsthan Muslim Americans.
Here with some answersis Hasan Minhaj.
All campaign Trump was like...
I think Islam hates us.
Total and complete shutdownof Muslims.
They're not comingto this country.
Now, as presidenthe's banned immigration
from these seven countries.
And everybody's like,"Yo, is this the Muslim ban?"
No, it's not the Muslim ban.
Right, right, but is it?
You're Hasan the Record.
This thing on?
Trump's executive order blocksanybody and everybody
from sevenvery Muslim countries,
in the Mideast and Africa,from entering the U.S. at all.
Now, this may not be the Muslim ban,
but it's definitely a Muslim ban.
But hold up.Can he do that?
Since Trump signed the order,
all of my melanin brosare calling me up, like...
Dude, this is America.
We're, like, the bestat religious liberty, okay?
He can't get awaywith this (bleep).
That's right. He can't get awaywith this (bleep).
Even my constitutional law brosare like...
"He might get awaywith this (bleep)."
Oh, that's right.
While a ban based explicitlyon religion
is probably illegal,
one basedon nation of origin isn't.
Oh, (bleep). Loophole.
By implementing a ban based onpeople from certain countries--
you know, the "Moslem" ones...
(call to prayer)
Okay, don't play that.People are gonna get scared.
Good. Basically,Trump can achieve the same goal.
It's like this. Imagine if thisadorable bulldog is a Muslim.
-As-salaam alaikum.-You can't hate this bulldog.
That'd be wrong. But put himin the Somalia sweater,
and it's totally coolto be like,
"Waterboard that puppy."
Our hatred of bulldogswas legalized in 1952,
when the Immigrationand Nationality Act said
when the president findsthat the entry of any aliens
would be detrimental to theinterests of the United States,
he may impose any restrictionshe may deem to be appropriate.
If you experience an erectionlonger than four hours,
please call your doctor.Uh, translation:
yo, yo, yo, aliens aredetrimenting our interests.
I got to do restrictions.
'Cause national security.
Historically, presidentshave justified a lot of stuff
with national security.It's basically like a star
in Super Mario Brothers or bath salts in Florida--
it makes you invincible.
Trail of Tears? National security!
Chinese Exclusion Act? National security!
The guy who wrote "Peace Train"? Oh!
National security to the face!
Okay, so Trump's ban is...(sultrily): barely legal.
Didn't he also say somethingabout a Muslim database?
Beyond database, we should havea lot of systems.
But Trump's executive orderlast Friday doesn't mention it.
Probably because databasesand registries are problematic,
-and we'd never do one. Getwoke, get woke. -(alarm beeping)
Woke up. We did do one.
In 2002, the U.S. beganthe National Security
Entry-Exit Registration System,or NSEERS.
The program forced peopleentering
from 24 Muslim-majoritycountries
to register and regularly checkin with authorities.
The NSEERS programaccomplished the following:
it placed 13,000 individualsin deportation proceedings,
including one LebaneseChristian dude from Texas.
And out of 83,519 cases,
NSEERS caught...zero terrorists.
That's right. 0 for 83,519.
The worst shooting percentagein history.
The dude behind NSEERSwas Kris Kobach of Kansas.
-(dinging) -I'm surethat's just a coincidence.
Kobach sucked so hard at his jobthat he became...
a key immigration advisorto President Trump.
Kobach's literal number one ideafor Trump, NSEERS.
But here's the orange lining:
bans and registries like theseonly affect foreign nationals.
So if you're an American citizenlike me, nothing to worry about.
We were American citizens.
Oh, (bleep). It'sJapanese-American George Takei.
Because we lookedlike the enemy,
we were treated like the enemyand imprisoned.
Okay, so it happened once!
And the lawthat allowed internment
has never technically beenoverturned,
but... but... butthat could never happen today,
because now we have smartphones.
Whoa. What I just saidwas so real.
And it's like I always say,injustice anywhere
is a threat to justiceother places also.
Go to HasanTheRecord.comto cop your Minhaj Mug.
Keep your tee tightand your mind open.
Tune in next week,when I go Hasan the Record
-on Jeff Sessions. -Just becausesomeone says something racist,
-is it?-Think about it, y'all.
I'll see you next week.
(cheering and applause)