Reparations 2003 Follow-Up

  • Season 1 , Ep 4
  • 02/12/2003
  • Views: 215,175

A local news team reports on the hell that breaks loose when black Americans receive their reparations checks. (3:35)

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IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US,

BLACK PEOPLE GOT THEIRREPARATIONS CHECKS TODAY,

AND, IN SHORT, ALL HELLHAS BROKEN LOOSE.

IN SPORTS,THE PHILADELPHIA 76ERS

TOOK ON THE NEW YORK KNICKS,

BUT SINCE NONE OF THEBLACK PLAYERS SHOWED UP,

TODD MacCULLOCH ENDED UPPLAYING ONE-ON-ONE

WITH TRAVIS KNIGHT.

MacCULLOCH HAD 75 POINTS,BEATING KNIGHT BY 7.

AFTER THE GAME,MacCULLOCH SAID THAT HE WAS HURT

THAT NONE OF THE BLACK PLAYERSSHOWED UP,

BUT UPBEAT BECAUSE HE,

QUOTE, FINALLY, FEELS LIKEHE HAS A BIG PENIS.

WELCOME TOTHE CLUB, BUDDY,

THE BIG PENIS CLUB.

FORTUNE MAGAZINE RELEASEDTHEIR ANNUAL LIST

OF THE HUNDREDWEALTHIEST PEOPLE TODAY,

AND BILL GATES HASBEEN OVERTAKEN.

"BY WHOM," YOU ASK ?

A HARLEM RESIDENT NAMEDSIMPLY... TRON.

OUR STEPHANIE GOLDIS STANDING BY WITH HIM NOW.

SO, HOW DID YOU BECOME

THE WORLD'S WEALTHIEST MAN,TRON ?

HOT HAND INA DICE GAME, BABY GIRL.

SIX HOURS STRAIGHT,TALKING 'BOUT,

CLACKITY,CLACKITY, CLACKITY CLACK !

NOW, YOU LOOKING AT THEWORLD'S RICHEST MAN,

AND I'M BLACK.

KISS MY BLACK ASS,AMERICA !

I THINK WHAT EVERYBODYWANTS TO KNOW NOW IS,

WHAT ARE YOU GOINGTO DO WITH ALL THIS MONEY ?

UH, I'M GONNA REINVEST MY MONEYINTO THE COMMUNITY.

OH, THAT'S A VERY NICEGESTURE, WHAT WILL YOU...

PSYCH !

( laughing )

OKAY, IS THAT YOUR SON ?

NO, NO, I JUST BOUGHTTHIS BABY CASH.

NO, STRAIGHT UP, THOUGH,I'M GONNA DO THE REAL THING,

AND SPEND THIS MONEYBEFORE Y'ALL HONKEYS

CHANGE YOUR MINDS.

ON THAT NOTE, CHUCK,WE'RE GONNA SEND IT

BACK TO YOUIN THE STUDIO NOW.

HOLD UP, CHUCK,I GOT YOUR GIRL.

WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUTA LITTLE LAP DANCE

FOR THE WORLD'S RICHEST MAN ?

OH, WELL, IF YOUPUT IT THAT WAY...

CHUCK, BACK TO YOUIN THE STUDIO.

THANK YOU,STEPHANIE.

CHUCK !IN OTHER NEWS...

SUCK MY...

WE, UM, WE SEEM TO HAVELOST THE FEED.

ANYHOW, HERE WITHTHE WEATHER IS OUR OLD PAL,

RELIABLE, FRIENDLY, PORTLY...BIG AL.

( nasal )HAPPY REPARATIONS DAY,HAPPY JUNETEENTH.

JUST KIDDING.

CHUCK, I DON'T KNOWIF YOU KNOW THIS,

BUT I'VE JUST HANDEDIN MY RESIGNATION HERE

AT NEWSCENTER 3 HOURS AGO.

AND I'LL TELLYOU SOMETHING ELSE

YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW,AND THAT IS THIS:

THIS IS NOTMY REAL SPEAKING VOICE.

( deep and throaty )ACTUALLY, CHUCK,THIS MY REAL SPEAKING VOICE.

I TALK LIKE STRAIGHT-UPGANGSTER, BITCH.

MY NAME AIN'T BIG AL,IT'S ALTON SIMS, OKAY ?

UH, BIG AL, SERIOUSLY,

WHAT'S THE FORECASTFOR THE TRI-STATE AREA ?

OH, I DON'T KNOW,CHUCK.

WHY DON'T WE TAKE ALOOK AT MY TRI-STATE AREA MAP,

WHICH LOOKS A LOT LIKEMY BIG FAT ASS.

OKAY, HERE WEHAVE CONNECTICUT.

ALL THE WHITE FOLKSDRIVE DOWN 95

AND GO STRAIGHTINTO THE HOLLAND TUNNEL.

UH-OH, LOOK OUT,

HERE COMESA BIG BROWN TRUCK.

WAIT A MINUTE, THAT AIN'TNO TRUCK !

( farting )

MY GOD, BIG AL,THAT'S DISGUSTING !

♪ I'M PAIDI'M PAID ♪

♪ I'M PAIDIN THE SHADE ♪

( mouthing rhythm )

IS THAT"BEAT BOXING" ?

YOU OLD, PASTY BASTARD.

LOOK AT YOU, CHUCK,YOU LOOK SICK, MAN.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST WALKEDUP FROM GROUND ZERO.

THIS JOB SUCKS,KISS THE RINGS, BITCH.

I'M OUT.

AND THEREYOU HAVE IT.

EXCUSE ME.

INCREDIBLE, I'M RECEIVING WORDTHAT COLIN POWELL

HAS JUST BITCH-SLAPPEDVICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY.

WHITE PEOPLE, RUN FOR COVER,WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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