Uncensored - Michael Kosta - Dad's Email

South Beach Comedy Festival 2011 Season 1, Ep 5 03/07/2011 Views: 3,031

Michael Kosta's father is getting nervous about his 1986 desk calculator. (1:50)

[music playing]

-I sent my father an emailabout a month before Christmas,

and the subject of the emailwas, Christmas Gift Ideas.

Pretty basic email.

Hey dad, what do youwant for Christmas?


K, my dad writes back, I'mgoing to read to you the email

that my father wrote back to me.

Keep in mind my email wastitled, Christmas Gift Ideas.

Here's my father'semail, word for word.


First thing he said.

I heard a rumor you werewondering about gift ideas.

That's why I sentyou an email, dad,

called Christmas Gift Ideas.

He wants one thing, my father.

My current desk calculatordates back to 1986.

I still use it every day, butI'm getting nervous about it.

The new calculator will haveonly simple things that will

run on solar and battery orsome other kind of power.

What the fuck areyou talking about?

Why am I still reading this?

I wish I wasn't related to you.

Then he writes this, itwill have decent sized keys

with a little bit ofspace between them.

Oh, thanks dad, for describingyou want a calculator

with spaces in between the keys.

I was just going to buyyou a calculator with one

giant button on it that Ihoped was the number you

wanted to use inyour calculation.

Then he writes this.

Last line.

It doesn't have to bewaterproof, plug into anything

or play the Michigan fight song.

He is bat shit crazy, my father.

Here's my response backto him, word for word.

Here's what I wrote.