White-Sounding Black Guys

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 01/31/2012
  • Views: 91,628

Jordan and Keegan find themselves having to adjust their blackness on a daily basis. (1:43)

EVERYBODY.

I AM KEEGAN.- I AM JORDAN.

- AND THIS IS KEY & PEELE.

THANK YOU, YES.THANK YOU.

[cheers and applause]

JORDAN AND I ARE--WE'RE BIRACIAL.

- YES, HALF BLACK,HALF WHITE.

- AND BECAUSE OF THAT,WE FIND OURSELVES

PARTICULARLY ADEPTAT LYING.

BECAUSE ON A DAILY BASIS WEHAVE TO ADJUST OUR BLACKNESS.

- YES.- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- OH, NO, THERE'S MANYREASONS WE DO THAT.

- YEAH.

- I MEAN,TO TERRIFY WHITE PEOPLE.

- YES, THAT'S ONEOF THE MAIN REASONS.

ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS,YEAH.

- BECAUSE, I MEAN,YOU KNOW, WITH THE WAY

THAT WE SOUND, THE WAYTHAT WE ACTUALLY TALK,

WE'RE NOT INTIMIDATINGANYBODY WITH THE WAY WE SOUND.

- OH, NO, NO, NO.- WE SOUND VERY WHITE.

- WE SOUND WHITER THANTHE BLACK DUDE

IN THE COLLEGEA CAPPELLA GROUP.

- YES, WE SOUND WHITER THANMITT ROMNEY IN A SNOWSTORM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT THAT'S JUST--THAT'S ONE OF--

THAT'S THE REASONWHEN WE'RE AROUND

OTHER BROTHERS AND SISTERS,YOU WILL SEE US--

YOU GOT TO JUST--- YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO

DIAL IT UP A LITTLE BIT.

- YOU GOT TO DIAL IT UP.

OH, SEE, YOU KNOW WHATI'M TALKING ABOUT, BROTHER.

- OH, YOU KNOW I KNOW WHATYOU TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?

- YOU KNOW I KNOWYOU KNOW--

- YOU KNOW I KNOW WHAT YOU KNOWI KNOW WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT.

NO DOUBT, MAN.NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT

NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT,NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT.

- BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANTTO BE THE WHITEST SOUNDING

BLACK GUY IN A ROOM.

- YOU PUT FIVE WHITE-TALKINGBLACK GUYS IN THE SAME ROOM,

YOU COME BACK IN A HOUR,IT'S GOING LIKE

LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZOUP IN THERE.

- STRAIGHT UP.

[imitating chanting]

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