Clinton Jackson - Being a Bad Student

  • Season 8 , Ep 24
  • 05/20/2004
  • Views: 4,381

Only certain people know what it's like to pray for a "D." (3:15)

SOMETHING ABOUT CLINTON JACKSON.

LET YOUR BUDDY TELL YOU

SOMETHING.

I KNOW YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME

THINKING YOU GOT ME ALL FIGURED

OUT.

BUT I'M GONNA TELL YOU,

I WAS NOT A GOOD STUDENT.

[LAUGHTER]

I WASN'T A BAD KID.

BUT I WASN'T A GOOD STUDENT,

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

AND MY MIND WAS JUST ALWAYS

ELSEWHERE, RIGHT?

EVEN AT MY HIGH SCHOOL

GRADUATION I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR

THEM CALLING MY NAME 'CAUSE

I WAS TOO BUSY PLAYING WITH

THE TASSEL ON MY HAT.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

MY NAME IS JUST ECHOING

THROUGH THE BUILDING.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

EVEN WHEN THEY CALLED MY NAME

I DIDN'T GO GET THE DIPLOMA.

I JUST STOOD THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

'CAUSE I WAS TOO SCARED, RIGHT,

'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT IT NOT

TO BE TRUE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I DIDN'T WANT THEM TO BE

TRICKING ME.

I KNEW I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE

GRADUATING.

[LAUGHTER]

"CLINTON JACKSON WILL NOT BE

GRADUATING."

[LAUGHTER]

I AIN'T TRIPPING.

I'M GONNA DO COMEDY.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

SEE?

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I KNOW SOME OF YOU DON'T EVEN

FEEL WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M

TALKING ABOUT 'CAUSE YOU WERE

GOOD STUDENTS.

AND YOU DON'T KNOW THE STRUGGLE

OF SOMEBODY LIKE ME, RIGHT?

SEE, YOU ALL-- SOME OF YOU--

I KNOW 'CAUSE I USED TO SEE--

I USED TO LOOK OVER AT YOU IN

CLASS.

KNOW WHAT YOU DID, RIGHT?

MAN, YOU DID GOOD.

YOU GOT YOUR WORK TURNED IN

ON TIME.

AND YOU GOT EVERYTHING RIGHT.

GOOD GRADES.

WENT ON AND GOT A COUPLE OF

DEGREES NOW YOU KNOW WHAT

I MEAN?

WELL, I AIN'T TALKING TO YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M TALKING TO THE OTHER PEOPLE,

MY PEOPLE.

I'M TALKING TO ANYBODY WHO'S

EVER PRAYED FOR A D.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

I'M TALKING TO ANYBODY WHO'S

EVER DONE A BOOK REPORT FOR

A BOOK YOU DID NOT READ.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

RIGHT?

RIGHT?

THE DATE IT IS DUE YOU WERE

LOOKING AT THE BACK OF THE

BOOK TRYING TO DO A REPORT.

[LAUGHTER]

"THIS WAS THE EPIC TALE OF

A MAN AND HIS DREAMS.

[LAUGHTER]

IT'S DESTINED TO BECOME A

CLASSIC, SAYS THE NEW YORK

TIMES...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND ME."

[LAUGHTER]

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