Smokey Suarez - Not My Roaches

Season 1 , Ep 5 08/01/10 Views: 69,718

Some women look good in the club, but their apartment is a completely different story. (2:07)

LADIES IN THE HOUSE,GIVE IT UP FOR YOURSELVES.

[cheers and applause]

IF YOU'RE INDEPENDENT,MAKE SOME NOISE.

[cheers and applause]

IF YOU HAVE YOUR OWN APARTMENT,MAKE SOME NOISE--OR HOUSE.

[cheers and applause]

IF YOU HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE--DON'T LIE.

[cheers and applause]

SOME OF Y'ALL WITH ME LYING.

Y'ALL LOOK GOOD IN THE CLUB.

GET TO YOUR HOUSE,IT BE A DIFFERENT STORY.

FELLAS, YOU EVER GOTO A GIRL'S HOUSE,

SHE START EXPLAININGBEFORE YOU GET IN THE DOOR?

"I DON'T BE HOMEALL THE TIME AND THE KIDS--

"WAIT A MINUTE BEFORE.

YOU GONNA SEE SOME THINGSLAYING AROUND, BUT--"

CLEAN YOUR HOUSE.

I WENT TO ONE GIRL'S HOUSE.

SHE HAD SO MANY ROACHES,

IT SOUNDED LIKE I WAS WALKINGON BUBBLE WRAPS.

THEY JUST WAS POPPINGLIKE POP POP POP POP.

LIKE, "YOU GOT NEW FURNITURE?"

YOU KNOW THE FLY THINGS--THE STICKY TRAPS--

SHE HAD A MOUSEHANGING FROM IT.

MOUSE LOOKING AT ME, LIKE,"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL

"I'M DOING UP HERE!

I'M CALLING PETA!"

I HATE WHEN WOMENHAVE ROACHES TOO

AND ACT LIKE THEY DON'T KNOWTHEY HAVE ROACHES.

YOU EVER HAD THAT, FELLAS?

YOU GO TO THEIR HOUSE,THEY SEE A ROACH,

THEY ACT LIKE THEY NEVER SEENA ROACH IN THEIR OWN HOUSE.

ROACH COME OUTSHE LIKE "OHO HO HO HO HO.

"NO, I DON'T KNOW WHO ROACHESTHESE IS,

BUT THESE ARE NOTMY ROACHES."

I SAY "HE GOT TWO PIECESOF I.D. WITH YOUR ADDRESS.

"THAT'S YOUR ROACH.HE GREW UP IN THIS APARTMENT.

"HE ON YOUR MYSPACEHOLDING YOUR SON LIKE THIS.

YOU HAD TO PHOTOSHOPTHAT ROACH."

I HATE SHOW-OFF ROACHES TOO.

YOU WON'T SEE THESE ROACHESALL WEEK TILL YOU GET COMPANY.

RIGHT? AS SOON AS YOU GETCOMPANY,

THEY WANT TO WALK THROUGHTHE LIVING ROOM.

AND FELLAS, I KNOW YOU HATETHESE ROACHES.

YOU WATCHING THE GAME--YOU'LL BE WATCHING THE GAME

AND PUT YOUR LITTLE JUICEON THE SIDE OF THE BED.

YOU COME BACK TO GET YOUR JUICE,HE GOT HIS FEET IN YOUR JUICE.

HE WATCHING THE GAME WITH YOU."KOBE SCORED 40!"

"GET THE HELLOUT OF MY JUICE!"

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