- Welcome back, I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Mike Yard,
and Nightly Showcontributor Robin Thede,
and he's the co-hostof the new music series
Greatest Hits, premiering next Thursday on ABC,
and you can catch him atHarrah's Resort in Atlantic City
Saturday July 9th, legendary TV host, comedian,
and actor Arsenio Hall, everybody!
And for everyone at home enjoying our conversation
right now on Twitter @NightlyShow
using the hashtag #Tonightly.
Now, over the course of two weeks,
Trump really seems to be fallingapart with his candidacy.
I don't know if he is;
But he fired his campaign manager.
His campaign virtually has no cash.
His numbers are falling.
I think his unfavorableslike are at 61%
or something like that.
He was lambasted for his unfavorables,
for his reaction to the Orlando shootings.
- [Robin] Oh yeah.
- Arsenio, I'm glad you're here alright, because--
- [Arsenio] I know him.
- [Larry] You have a personal connection with him.
- I won The Apprentice.
I'm the JackieRobinson of Apprentice.
I'm the first.
- So let me ask you, in your heart of hearts, okay?
- [Larry] Do you think Donald Trump is truly
invested in becoming president or is all of this a con?
Is he playing us right now?
- Larry, first of all, this is Donald Trump
and you know that ego.
He wants to rule the world.
This ain't no game for him.
This ain't no... right?
He wants to rule...
I think he just needs some black friends.
More than Omarosa; I know what y'all thinking.
Yeah, but do you think... See to me
it seems like when he started winning,
he was like, "Oh, shit, I was joking."
(audience laughing) - Well--
- [Larry] I didn't thinkthis was gonna happen!
- But Larry, he's got to win now because he's ruined
his life in every other place. - [Larry] He has.
- [Arsenio] But Pennsylvania Avenue.
- [Larry] That is a fact.
- I have a tie that he gave me once.
It's a Donald Trump tie.
Made in China.
He can't even go to China now. - [Larry] No he can't.
To even get his own ties. - Right, right.
He can't go give orders to the lady.
Nobody's sewing for himin China ever again.
- [Larry] So nice; I loved it.
- [Mike] I think he's been trying to get out of it.
- You think he was actively trying to get out?
- I mean look at the shit he's been saying.
Does that sound likesomebody that wanna win?
(audience applause)- [Larry] It's working!
But it's working!
- And I know and he's like us!
I'm sure every time Trump goes home,
he's like "What the fuck is going on!?"
- So you think--- [Mike] I just made fun
of a handicapped dude and they love me!
- [Larry] I tried the Mexican joke
and they liked me even more! - [Robin] I know.
- You know what's crazy about him hating immigrants?
The Donald Trump I know, back in the day,
didn't fuck nobody but immigrants.
- [Robin] Yeah, exactly.(audience applause)
- [Larry] Back in the day I believe he was married, yeah.
- Yeah, I mean other than Marla Maples.
- [Robin] Yeah.
- And she who knows?
I don't even know where she is.
That might be like Mission: Impossible.
She might do this one day and it's like, "Oh that's Rosa!"
She may not even be white.
The only white woman he really wants is his daughter.
And you know that. (audience shock)
- [Robin] Yes, that's my theory!
That's my theory is that he actually
only ran for president to impress Ivanka.
I really think so. - [Larry] Really?
- Yeah he was like-- - [Larry] Wait, he's running
for president to impress his daughter?
- [Robin] Yes and you know what no one else talks about?
He has another daughter that gets
no molesty love? - That's Marla Maple's
daugther! - Yeah!
- That's... Yes! - [Larry] It's so true though.
- [Robin] I don't even want to have sex with that daughter!
(Robin laughs) - No molesty love.
- [Robin] No molesty love. - [Mike] No molesty love.
That's messed up. - It is messed up.
- [Mike] On so many levels.
- So it that theart of the deal.
How to get molesty love is the deal?
- Yeah, chapter 12. (Larry laughs)
- I did not know that. - Can I correct something?
I said he needs black friends, he needs friends period.
Right?- [Robin] Yeah.
- Because sometimes-- - [Larry] Does he have
any friends?- [Arsenio] You know...
- Does he really have friends?
Because he used to hang outwith everybody back in the day,
who was something. - Yeah.
But he wanted to attach himselfto that limelight in that.
But does he really have any friends?
- If he had friends... Would his hair be like that?
Right? (audience laughs)
Right, if he got friends?
Because I'll tell you something--
- [Larry] Somebody wouldof told him by now.
- [Arsenio] Somebody would pull your coat tails.
If you got a black friend, they'll pull your coat tails.
I remember one time...
This happened in this town, we're standing together
and he had a lady pull his hair.
Because she was looking at him;
you know how whensomebody has big breasts
and you keep wandering down looking at her breasts.
They were looking at his head just staring at his hair.
Trying to make eye contact, but kept looking like this...
- It's like my eyes are here. - Yeah!
- Stop looking at my titties. - My eyes are right here.
- So I pulled him off to the side,
I didn't want to front him off in front of people
because he's cool if youput him off privately
and say, "Yo DT.."- [Mike] That's what you
called him. - Yeah!
(Mike laughs) I mean when you're not
on the air you can say it.
I said on the air one time; I was like,
"Yo, they don't think your hair is not real.
"They just thinkit's fucked up."
(guests and audience laughs wildly)
You know?- I agree, yeah.
- Because he always had to pull his hair.
- It's not a compliment Donald.
Okay I wanna show you this,
because I want your reaction to this.
Can we show that clip of what he said
at his rally when looking for his
African-American friend?- Oh!
- My god. - We gotta show that.
Let's just show that.- Don't show this clip.
- We had a case where we had an African-American guy
who was a fan of mine; Great fan, great guy!
In fact, I wanna find out what's going on with him.
Oh look at my African-American over here!
Look at him! (crowd wooing)
(Robin laughs)- "My African-American?"
- Yeah, he must of not got the email;
We free now, you don't own us.
(audience laughs) You don't own us.
We're free, bruh. (audience continues laughing)
Enough with you're tripped out
memory lane, motherfucker. - I love how--
- "My African-American?" - [Robin] I love how it's just
his game of Where's Waldo, but just with black people.
I mean his just like-- - [Mike] Like it was hard
to find him at a trump rally. - Well he was so shocked,
"Oh my god!" (Robin laughs)
- He knew exactly where he was.
- If he had a black friend, he wouldn't
of put "my" in that sentence. - [Robin] Right.
- [Larry] Does he thinkyou're his black friend?
- Oh not after tonight. (guests and audience laughs)
- Okay-- - [Arsenio] You know how he
likes to spray his hairreal hard on the sides?
By the way, it's real crunchy on the sides.
He sprays real hard; buttonight he's gonna be,
"My nigga, My nigga." (Robin laughs)
- [Mike] You know that'swhat he wanted to say!
- Yeah, that's-- - [Mike] "That's my nigga!"
- [Arsenio] Yeah, that's what he wanted!
"My nigga, My nigga!"- They say it, why can't
I say it?- "My nigga, My nigga!"
- That's exactly what he wanted to say!
Shit, come on man. - You think he's
really serious; like spending time
with him, you think he'sreally really serious?
- He can't go back to Apprentice, he's got to be serious.
- [Mike] He can't be. How? - You don't act a fool
at this job until you get your next job.
Yeah it's true; It's true.
- He can't go back-- - [Larry] You better make sure
all those lottery numbers are correct,
or we'll be saying "Fuckall you motherfuckers...
- Yeah, yeah. - "I'm out...
"Oh! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
- It's a five; Wait, it's a five!
- "Wait, wait, wait!
- I thought it was a four! (Mike claps)
- [Robin] He does need black and brown votes though.
- [Larry] He can't get black...Do you think white people
are gonna vote for Trump? - [Arsenio] No!
- [Mike] Hell no. - [Larry] You sure?
- [Mike] I don't know; let me tell you something,
there's no black people voting
for a motherfucker thatlabels us "the blacks."
I'm sorry, that's not happening.
- [Arsenio] Yeah. - You're gonna vote
for a dude that says "the blacks"?
"The blacks love me." - Maybe, but he's
a good salesman. - It's like fucking
with a Borg. - Let me ask you this.
Okay, here's a challenge; let me ask you this,
if Trump said "Okay I am coming out
"for reparations for black people.
"Hillary's not gonna say this.
"I'm saying reparationsfor black people.
"All of you guys, I'm writing down a $25,000--"
See, you're face is changing right now!
"I'm writing everybody a$25,000 dollar check right now,
"and I get to say nigga, that's right!"
(Robin laughs) "That's right, I get
"to say nigga; Here's $25,000 dollars!
"Who's voting for me now?" - [Mike] For 25 grand, you
don't get to call me nigga. - [Larry] Are you voting
for him now? - For 25 grand, you can't
call me nigga; You kidding me?
- [Larry] Okay, he won't call you that;
Are you voting for him?- For 25 grand, no.
Nah, not for 25 grand. - [Arsenio] For me
to vote for him, he's got to do
a Kool-Aid commercial or something.
Like a strawberry Kool-Aid;
and I'll be like, "I'mthinking, I'm thinking!"
- [Mike] For me to vote for him,
because you know I'm the reparations dude,
I've been backing for that show.
- [Larry] So it's a matter of price?
- Yes, and this is what it is.
If he gave 25 grand and...
like we said earlier, free college for black people--
- [Larry] That's your price? - [Mike] It depends though.
I gotta see... Because I don't trust him.
I gotta see the legislation-- - [Larry] Let me just
say two words. - [Mike] Because he might
be slick. - [Larry] Let me just
say two words; Let me just say two words.
- [Mike] What? - Sell-out.
Okay, we'll be right back. (guests and audiences cheers)
We'll be right back.
- [Voiceover] If you live in the New York city area,
or are planning to visit, grab some free tickets
to attend an up-coming taping of The Nightly Show.
Go to TheNightlyShow.com/Tickets