Brian Posehn - Yelling Things

  • Season 6 , Ep 8
  • 06/09/2002
  • Views: 5,152

KIND OF A JACKASS, I'VE ALWAYS

BEEN ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT DOES

A LOT OF PRANKS, YOU KNOW.

I-- 'CAUSE I GOT PICKED ON SO

I'D GET PLEASURE PICKING ON

STRANGERS.

I USED TO DO PRANK CALLS TILL

STAR 69 AND CALLER ID PUT KIBOSH

ON THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

I STILL LOVE DOING PRANKS,

NOW I LOVE YELLING STUFF OUT OF

MY CAR WINDOW AT STRANGERS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I'LL JUST YELL STUFF THAT WILL

PISS THEM OFF.

LIKE LAST YEAR WHEN THE

STAR WARS PREQUEL CAME OUT

IN L.A., NERDS WERE LINED UP

FOR DAYS.

AND BEING A NERD, I KNOW HOW

TO PISS NERDS OFF.

I KNOW WHAT GETS TO 'EM.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU GET THEIR

OBSESSION WRONG.

YOU KNOW.

(LAUGHTER)

WHEN YOU GET THE THING THEY'VE

WASTED THEIR LIFE ON WRONG.

SO ALL THESE GUYS ARE WAITING

FOR THE STAR WARS MOVIE AND I

LEAN OUT OF MY CAR AND GO

"STAR TREK SUCKS!

PICKARD'S A LOSER, STAR TREK

BLOWS!"

JUST KNOWING I WOULD PISS OFF

ONE OF THEM, IT WORKED.

YOU KNOW.

ONE OF 'EM STEPS UP AND GOES,

"IT'S STAR WARS!

GET IT RIGHT!

IT'S GEORGE LUCAS' VISION BASED

ON THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY

AND THIS WAS A PREQUEL HE ALWAYS

PLANNED."

AND I'M LIKE SITTING IN MY CAR,

HA-HA, STUPID NERDS.

(LAUGHTER)

I STILL LOVE YELLING STUFF

OUT OF MY CAR.

AND NOW WHAT I'LL DO IS

I'LL YELL SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE

CAN'T GET MAD AT ME FOR 'CAUSE

I CAN'T FIGHT.

I'VE NEVER FOUGHT, BUT I'M

PRETTY SURE I CAN'T FIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHAT I'LL DO IS I'LL YELL

SOMETHING NOBODY COULD POSSIBLY

GET MAD AT, YOU KNOW.

IF I SEE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

WALKING DOWN THE STREET

I'LL YELL, "HOMO!"

(LAUGHTER)

SHE CAN'T GET PISSED.

AND I STILL GET THE PLEASURE

OF YELLING AT HER.

SHE'S MOSTLY JUST PUZZLED.

"I'M A PRETTY LADY?

DID THAT GUY CALL ME A HOMO?

THAT'S WEIRD."

TRUE STORY ABOUT THAT JOKE.

I DID IT IN L.A. AND JOE PESCI

WAS IN THE AUDIENCE.

I'M A HUGE PESCI FAN.

AND HE CAME UP TO ME AFTERWARDS

AND I CAN'T DO AN IMPRESSION OF

THE GUY BUT HE CAME UP TO ME AND

HE GOES, "HEY, THAT THING YOU DO

ABOUT YELLING STUFF AT PEOPLE,

I'M GONNA DO THAT, I'M GONNA

YELL HOMO AT SOME BROAD."

AND I WAS LIKE SWEET!

(LAUGHTER)

SO THAT JUST GIVES IT ANOTHER

LEVEL.

YOU KNOW, PESCI'S A MAN OF HIS

WORD.

YOU KNOW HE TRIED IT AT LEAST

ONCE.

SO YOU KNOW LIKE A YEAR AGO

SOME WOMAN'S WALKING DOWN

SUNSET BOULEVARD GOING,

"DID JOE PESCI JUST CALL ME

A HOMO?

THAT IS WEIRD.

THE STAR OF GOODFELLAS

AND GONE FISHIN HOW STRANGE."

(LAUGHTER)

I HAVE OTHER STUFF THAT I YELL,

LIKE IF I SEE GAY GENTLEMEN

WALKING DOWN THE STREET,

I'LL YELL "GO BACK TO MEXICO!"

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

THEY CAN'T GET MAD.

OR "I SMELL BACON!"

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

THEY CAN'T GET PISSED.

AND IF I SEE COPS I YELL,

"SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!"

(LAUGHTER)

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