Burning the Porn Industry Extended

  • Season 1 , Ep 5
  • 09/11/2012
  • Views: 13,143

Jeff Ross travels to the San Fernando Valley to honor one of America's greatest exports. (2:57)

-All right, everybody,never forget

that we're a comedy show.

And that we livein a free country.

[applause]

-And that's why I headed outto the San Fernando Valley

this week to honorone of America's

greatest exports, pornography.

[audience laughs]

[theme music]

-Whoa!

Somebody order a pizza?

[laughing]

-I'm here to burnthe porn industry,

and that desk whenyou're done with it.

[laughing]

-This is fun.

Eva and Ryan, wow.

It's like my browserhistory came to life.

It's taken more heavy loads thanRosie O'Donnell's dishwasher.

-That is true.

-I bet this isn't thefirst big black fuzzy

thing dangling intheir faces, huh?

-(GIGGLING) No.

JEFF: Mark Spieglerhere, agent to the stars.

What agency are you with, STD?

What else could you be besidesa porn agent, look at you.

No one's going to be likethis is my pediatrician.

Let me tell you something.

-Go ahead.

-No one in the history of comedyhas roasted a vagina before.

[laughs]

-Wow!

It's a vagina roast.

-Hi.

-That thing's been enteredmore than Publisher's Clearing

House.

[laughs]

-Ricola!

[laughs]

-Are you the catering lady?

-That I am.

JEFF: Nice to meet you.

-Thank you.

-Does it ever botheryou that the, uh,

actors would rather eat[bleep] than your food?

[laughs]

-Oh, my God.

I'm roasting your rump.

Has there ever beena rump roast before?

This is the biggest[bleep] I ever

roasted since theDonald Trump roast.

[laughs]

-Katie, let metell you something.

You should put a framearound that thing

because it's an ass-terpiece.

Welcome to the firstever wiener roast.

[laughs]

- [inaudible]

-Don't be, it's OK.

-Hold me, I'm scared.

-OK.

-Wow.

Seth Gamble.

I'm taking a gamble right nowgetting close to that thing.

[laughs]

-Oh my God.

I'd hate to see itwhen it's angry.

That thing's so ugly, I feellike I'm looking in the mirror.

[laughs]

-Seth, this hasbeen a real treat.

You're the first everrecipient of a wiener roast.

-Awesome.

JEFF: All right.

I want to thank you guys.

Give me a pound.

[laughs]

-Cristina Roth, take abow darling, take a bow.

[applause]

-Thank you, Cristina.

Your [bleep] was a great sport.

Coming up next, JohnnyKnoxville hijacks my show.

Stay tuned.

[applause]

[screaming]

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