Noe Gonzalez - Cancun Labor Market

Davidson, Washburn, Gonzales, Tate, Judge, Desai, Dore Season 3, Ep 0304 06/09/2007 Views: 55,341

The white people are coming down to Cancun and taking jobs away from hard-working Mexicans! (2:27)

Oh, you guys been there or what?

That's cool, man.That was fun, man.

There's a lot of Americansliving over there.

I went into a liquor store,there was a white guy sweeping.

I was, like,"Hey, bro, you work here?"

He was, like,"Yeah. I got warrants."

The Mexicans over therestarted complaining.

"Hey, the white peopleare coming over here

"and taking our jobs.

We should build a wall, homes."

And I flew over there,and I wasn't scared.

I knew there wasn't goingto be terrorists on the plane

'cause terrorists are notgoing to blow up Mexico.

There is nothingto blow up over there.

What are they going to blow up?Corona factories?

If they do that, Mexicanswill go to war in a heartbeat.

"Go get them, man!

Now we gotta drink Dos Equis!"

And the first wave of people

they will send over therewill be women.

Women will find Osama bin Ladenin a heartbeat.

They find everything else.

"Whose hair is this?

"Whose hair?I found it in the haystack.

Whose hair is it?"

Women will mess upOsama bin Laden's stuff

when he's in jail.

They will key his camel.

(scraping)

Sorry about that.

They will callhis ex-girlfriends.

"He's an (bleep), huh?

Yeah, I got your numberfrom heh-heh-heh."

And then I flew back,and that's when I noticed

there's advantagesto being short.

Like, the bathroom ofthe airplane-- I fit in there.

Like, tall people,you don't fit in there, huh?

Your knees are hittingthe door right there.

You gotta go in backwards.Not me.

That's, like, my living room.I'm, like, whoo!

This flight is taking forever.

Let me wash my hands.

The only thing thatsucks is Halloween.

My friends always know it's me.

Like tall people, you canfool your friends. Huh?

When you go to the party, youget dressed up,

everybody's, like,"Damn, who's Batman?"

"I don't know, but there's Noe."

Last year, I dressed upas King Kong.

My friends came up to me,

"Hey, you're Curious George,huh, bro?"