Baron Vaughn - Special Expose

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 08/08/2010
  • Views: 21,315

The voice of a newscaster is consistent amongst all languages, accents and dialects. (1:47)

I'VE BEEN TRAVELINGA LOT LATELY.

IT'S GOOD.

I BEEN GOINGTO THE SOUTH A LOT LATELY,

WHICH IS GOOD, 'CAUSE I'VE BEENMEANING TO RUN MORE.

LYNCHBURG, HOW DID YOUR TOWNCOME TO BE NAMED THAT?

[old man's voice]"WELL, I'M GLAD YOU ASKED.

"ONCE UPON A TIME,MANY NEGROES.

"ONE DAY, NONE.

HAVE A GOOD VISIT."

[scatting]

IT'S PRETTY AMAZING.

AMERICA'S AN AMAZING COUNTRY,YOU KNOW.

THERE'S SO MANY VOICES,DIALECTS, ACCENTS, LANGUAGES.

THINGS LIKE THAT.

BUT THERE'S ONE VOICETHAT YOU HEAR

NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO,

AND THAT'S THE WAYNEWSCASTERS TALK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

IT'S IN EVERY,SINGLE LANGUAGE.

[imitating newscaster]LATER TONIGHT,

ON CHANNEL 23 NEWS.

OR IT COULD BE LIKE SPANISH.

[speaking Spanish]

OR IT COULD BELIKE NORWEGIAN.

"FLEURGEN GERGITY FLEURG.FLEURGEN GERG.

GERGEN FLEURGEN GERG,CHANNEL GERGEITY FLEURG."

NOW, I DON'T KNOWABOUT Y'ALL,

BUT I TEND TO DEVELOP CRUSHESON FEMALE NEWS ANCHORS.

I FOUND OUT WHY.TWO REASONS.

NUMBER ONE, I'VE DATEDA LOT OF INSANE,

PSYCHO WOMEN.

SO NOW I HAVE A THING FOR WOMENTHAT STATE FACTS.

ALSO...

ALSO, I THINKIT'D BE GREAT TO HOOK UP

WITH A FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR,

AND THEN HER TALK DIRTY TO MEIN THAT VOICE.

[laughing] BECAUSEI WOULD REQUEST THAT.

"LATER TONIGHT, ALMONDS,WHIPPED CREAM, AND ICE CREAM.

FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURPENIS BECOMES MY DESSERT."

[laughter and applause]

"MY BREASTS,FUN AND DELICIOUS,

"START AT THE NIPPLES.WORK YOUR WAY AROUND.

"NEWS AT 5:00.

"LATER TONIGHT,SPECIAL EXPOSE.

"YOUR PENIS, MY VAGINA:

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW COULD KILL YOU."

[laughter and applause]

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