Extended - Securing the Vape Vote - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, September 29, 2016 - Uncensored 09/29/2016 Views: 571

Ken Jeong, Suzy Nakamura and Dave Foley attempt to influence the vote of indecisive voter and vaping enthusiast, Brody (James Adomian). (4:33)

So, of all the hot takes on

Twitter following Monday night's

debate, none was smokier than

that of conservative walrus

Grover Norquist.

(reading)

Agree or disagree, the tax

Muppet does bring attention to

an oft-neglected and

oft-subpoenaed segment of the

electorate.

With more than nine million

active inhalers nationwide, the

vaping community could really

sway the election if their moms

will let them borrow the car

that night.

So, in this first installment of

our new Voter Voices segment

that we're launching way too

late in the election to make any

kind of difference, here now, to

represent all vapers, is Brody.

(cheering, applause)

Hey, Brody.

Just, uh...

puffing on that thing, nonstop.

>> By the way, Chris, we prefer

to be called, uh, Vabraham

Lincoln, aka Vape Ape, uh, aka

Great Muppet Vaper.

You know what I'm saying?

>> All right, great.

All right, stop...

Why... why are...

What are you doing?

>> ♪ Bop-bop-bop, bop-bop-bop.

Look, this election is

important-- it's the most

important in vape history,

mostly because vape history

started in 2013.

Now, I didn't watch the debate

Monday because I was busy

practicing MMA moves on... the

person that my girlfriend claims

is my son.

I mean...

Mentor, not a father.

Mentor, not a father, you know

what I'm saying?

Mentor, not a father.

But I am glad that Norbert

Slugworth guy tweeted about us,

because we're sick and tired of

being, you know, stereotypated.

So, we're not dirtbags, okay?

We're also, some of us, weirdos,

skeezoids, former members of

Limp Bizkit, what?

Mmm, mmm, mmm...

>> That dance...

>> Listen up: we don't just care

about vaping.

We also are passionate about a

range of issues, from backwards

baseball hats to snake tattoos

to real snakes to forward

baseball hats-- all the

spectrum.

>> HARDWICK: All right.

>> Look at the dance.

>> But, cloudy Americans, look,

we're undecided in this

election, because we're not that

good at making decisions.

That's what... Yeah, what's up?

(cheering and applause)

Undecided, undecided.

Look, Chris, alls I want to say

is we're undecided voters, and

what we want is just some helps

because we can't make these

decisions, you know what I'm

sayin'?

That's why you always see us

wearing flip-flops at 7-Eleven,

2:30 in the morning, holding up

the line, while we agonize over

which flavor of beef jerky to

spend our last $4.79 on.

We can't decide!

We can't decide.

We can't decide.

'Cause we're undecided.

So, comedians, I want you to,

you know, just give the vapers

as many reasons as you can to

just vote for either candidate

in this historic vape-off.

>> HARDWICK: All right.

Um... thank you.

(cheering and applause)

You have 60 seconds to follow

any of that.

60 seconds. And begin.

Suzy.

>> Vote Trump because his skin

reminds you of Doritos.

>> HARDWICK: Ah. Points.

Dave Foley.

>> Uh, vote Clinton 'cause

you'll need health care when you

realize that your blood's

spewing dupe of the tobacco

industry.

>> HARDWICK: All right, points.

Ken.

>> Vote for Trump.

No laws, bro!

>> HARDWICK: Points. Dave Foley.

>> Uh, vote Trump because, in a

post-apocalyptic hellscape, no

one will have time to call you

an asshole.

>> HARDWICK: All right.

Very good.

Thanks for that. Suzy.

>> Vote Trump because he's most

likely to have an all Juggalo

cabinet.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

Ken.

>> Vote Trump. He also spends

most of his time blowing smoke

and complaining about women.

>> HARDWICK: All right, points.

Suzy Nakamura.

>> You should vote third party.

And by third party, I mean third

par-tay!

>> HARDWICK: Yeah. Points.

Very good.

David Foley.

>> Vote Clinton because...

Seriously, no jokes-- just vote

Clinton.

>> HARDWICK: All right, all

right.