Cory Kahaney - Sister

  • Season 8 , Ep 27
  • 06/10/2004
  • Views: 2,653

Cory's sister gets people out of Burma. (1:19)

I HAVE A GAY SISTER.

I DO, I HAVE A GAY SISTER,

WHICH HAS BEEN GREAT FOR ME

'CAUSE MY PARENTS HAVE NOW

FORGIVEN ME EVERYTHING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M NOT KIDDING.

AT THIS POINT IF I BROUGHT HOME

A DWARF WITH A MOHAWK,

SIX TATTOOS AND A NOSE RING,

AS LONG AS HE HAS A PENIS,

HE CAN STAY FOR DINNER.

[LAUGHTER]

AND THEY'LL CALL HIM SON,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

MY SISTER HAS A GREAT JO--

MY SISTER WORKS FOR AMNESTY

INTERNATIONAL.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF IT?

OKAY.

I'M SUCH A MOR--

I DIDN'T REALLY GET IT AT FIRST.

SO I WAS LIKE, "ALRIGHT,

SO WHAT DO THEY DO EXACTLY?"

SHE SAYS, "WELL, THEY GET PEOPLE

OUT OF BURMA."

I SAID, "PEOPLE ARE GOIN'

TO BURMA?

[LAUGHTER]

WHO'S GOIN' TO BURMA?"

SHE SAID, "PEOPLE GO."

I SAID, "WHAT HAPPENED?"

SHE SAID, "THEY GET STUCK

THERE."

[LAUGHTER]

I SAID, "YOU GET 'EM OUT?"

SHE SAID, "YEAH."

I SAID, "WELL, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST SEND OUT A MEMO.

'HEY, DON'T GO TO BURMA!'?"

[LAUGHTER]

SEE HOW I SOLVED THAT CRISIS?

I LEARN SO MUCH FROM MY SISTER,

I DO.

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, LAST WEEK

I GET IN MY ELEVATOR, RIGHT?

AND THERE'S MY NEIGHBOR.

AND HE'S GOT A THREE-BEDROOM

APARTMENT, AND I'M WAITIN' FOR

HIM TO DIE, RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

AND HE'S GOT LUGGAGE.

I'M LIKE, "WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?"

HE SAID FLORIDA.

I SAID, "FLORIDA?

MAN.

YOU SHOULD GO TO BURMA.

NOW THAT'S A LOVELY VACATION

SPOT."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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