Whitney Cummings - Balls Are Disgusting

Whitney Cummings: Money Shot Season 1, Ep 0101 08/02/2010 Views: 103,313

Men should not shave their balls -- the last thing those things need to be are more visible. (1:19)

'CAUSE YOU GUYS LOVE YOUR BALLS.

YOU GOT TO SEE YOUR BALLS,

AND YOU'RE STOKED.

'CAUSE YOU GUYS, YOU LOVE

YOUR BALLS, ALL RIGHT?

YOU THINK THOSE THINGS

ARE AWESOME.

YOU THINK THEY'RE SO GREAT.

NEWS FLASH: THEY'RE TERRIBLE.

THEY ARE DISGUSTING.

THEY'RE EMBARRASSING.

THEY ARE AWFUL.

CAN SOMEONE JUST EXPLAIN,

WHY DO ALL BALLS LOOK LIKE

THEY'RE 150 YEARS OLD?

LIKE, CAN YOU PUT SOME SUNSCREEN

ON THAT, PLEASE?

MAYBE SOME LIP BALM

OR SOMETHING.

THAT'D BE GOOD.

AND THEY'RE ALWAYS ASHY.

WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS--

BECAUSE THEY'RE ALSO, LIKE,

STICKY AT THE SAME TIME,

SO IT'S LIKE, WHAT IS

THE TEMPERATURE DOWN THERE?

I CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT.

WHAT IS THAT WETNESS GOING ON?

LIKE, WHAT IS THAT?

IT'S TEARS.

IT'S PROBABLY TEARS.

THEY'RE CRYING, 'CAUSE THEY KNOW

HOW UGLY THEY ARE.

THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON.

THEY LOOK LIKE THAT THING

HANGING OFF A ROOSTER'S CHIN

JUST RIGHT--UGH.

OH, AND YOU GUYS ARE

SHAVING THEM NOW?

YOU THINK THAT HELPS?

DO NOT SHAVE YOUR BALLS.

THE LAST THING THOSE THINGS NEED

TO BE ARE MORE VISIBLE.

NO WAY.

GROW IT OUT.

COVER UP THOSE WEIRD BROWN

SPLOTCHES AND VEINS.

THEY'RE AWFUL.

THEY LOOK LIKE DRIED FRUIT.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED

OF YOURSELVES.

HOW DARE YOU?