Elvira Kurt - Technology

  • Season 2 , Ep 2
  • 05/28/1999
  • Views: 3,752

When you turn off your computer, it learns new things without you. (2:00)

IT'S YOUR COMPUTER, ISN'T IT?

OH, MY GOD.

I DO FIND THAT WE AREJUST BEING BOMBARDED

BY TOO MUCH TECHNOLOGY.

I'M AFRAID OF MY COMPUTER.

I KNOW WHEN I TURN IT OFF

IT'S LEARNING NEW THINGSWITHOUT ME.

AND SO MUCH OF WHAT YOU SEEON THE INTERNET

DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

CAN ANYONE IN THIS ROOMEXPLAIN TO ME

WHY TAMPAX NEEDS A WEBSITE?

IT'S THE LAST PLACEANY WOMAN WANTS TO BE

WHEN SHE'S BLEEDING, HUH?

OH, GEEZ, THE CRAMPSARE REALLY KICKING IN.

I BETTER HEAD OVERTO THE MAXIPAD CHATROOM.

( audience laughs )

IF FOR NO OTHER REASONTHAN TO TYPE IN: "KILL ME

COLON, FROWNY BRACKET."

WELL, YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT.

EVERYTHING'S BEING UPDATED.

EVERYTHING'S BEINGNEW AND IMPROVED.

HAVE YOU NOTICED

THAT THE TOOTHBRUSH IS EVOLVING?

THE TOOTHBRUSH--

THE MOST PERFECT TOOLEVER INVENTED.

ITS GENIUS IS ITS SIMPLICITY.

STICK... BRISTLES.

LEAVE IT ALONE!

( applause )

BUT IT'S TOO LATE.

IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT

BECAUSE IT STARTED YEARS AGO

BEFORE WE WEREEVEN PAYING ATTENTION.

THAT'S WHEN THEY ADDEDTHE BLUE BRISTLES.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?

BEFORE THEY PUT INTHE BLUE BRISTLES

WASN'T IT SO COMPLICATED

TO HAVE TO EYEBALLTHE WEAR AND TEAR

ON YOUR BLOODY TOOTHBRUSH?

OH, DO YOU REMEMBERTHE DARK AGES

WHEN YOU WOULD STANDFOR HOURS OVER THE SINK

WITH YOUR FRAYED BRISTLES GOING:

"OH, IS IT TIMETO THROW IT AWAY?

"IS IT GOOD FOR ANOTHER WEEK?

"OH, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

WHY AM I ALWAYS ALONEIN THIS WORLD?"

( applause )

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