Clinton Jackson - Cat on the Phone

  • Season 8 , Ep 24
  • 05/20/2004
  • Views: 3,099

What do you say when your wife puts you on the phone with the cat? (3:01)

Clinton Jackson: WE GOT A CAT

AT HOME.

I LOVE OUR CAT.

WHEN I'M AT HOME I PLAY WITH

OUR CAT.

I ENJOY OUR CAT.

BUT I NEVER TALK TO OUR CAT.

AND OUR CAT CERTAINLY NEVER

TALKS TO ME.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I DON'T KNOW WHY MY WIFE

IS COMPELLED TO PUT THE CAT

ON THE PHONE WHEN I CALL HOME.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT I LOVE MY WIFE SO I WILL

TALK TO THE CAT.

[LAUGHTER]

"HEY, CAT."

[LAUGHTER]

I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THE

CAT.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

"MEOW."

[LAUGHTER]

"MEOW."

"HELLO?"

I ALWAYS SAY HELLO, TOO.

LIKE THE CAT'S GONNA GO, "YEAH,

I'M HERE."

[LAUGHTER]

GOTCHA.

I TOOK MY NIECE TO A CARNIVAL

AND LET ME JUST TELL YOU THIS.

ANY GUY WORKING THOSE CARNIVAL

BOOTHS NEEDS TO BE STOPPED.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

THE GAMES.

THEY KNOW HOW TO PLAY YOU OUT.

WHEN YOU WERE THE KID AND YOU

WALKED BY, RIGHT?

"HEY, WIN A BEAR FOR THE LITTLE

GIRL?"

"NO, THANK YOU."

"YOU DON'T LOVE HER."

"OKAY."

[LAUGHTER]

NOW YOU'RE SPENDING MONEY YOU

DON'T HAVE TRYING TO WIN

SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU'RE NOT GONNA WIN BUT

THAT'S ALL YOU'RE THINKING

ABOUT IS WINNING, RIGHT?

YOU DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT

THE FACT THAT THE GAME IS

IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU'RE 30 FEET AWAY TRYING TO

THROW A HOT DOG INTO A WINE

BOTTLE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU GO TO THE CIRCUS NOW

BY THE WAY, RINGLING BROTHERS,

BARNUM AND BAILEY CIRCUS,

THEY GOT A BLACK RINGMASTER

NOW.

YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS

PRETTY COOL, IT AIN'T HAVING

A BLACK PRESIDENT.

BUT IT'S BABY STEPS, YOU KNOW?

[LAUGHTER]

BLACK RINGMASTER IN THE CIRCUS,

MAN.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS VERY

INTERESTING.

THEY WERE DOING A STORY ON HIM,

RIGHT?

SO I WANTED TO WATCH HIM, RIGHT?

I HAD TO TAPE IT.

I GOT HOME.

I'M WATCHING THIS INTERVIEW.

DURING THE INTERVIEW HE SAID

THAT HAVING THIS POSITION WAS

AN HONOR.

YEAH, IT IS.

HE SAID IT WAS THE ANSWER TO

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING'S DREAMS.

EXCUSE ME.

[LAUGHTER]

WHOA, REWIND.

"THE ANSWER TO DR. MARTIN

LUTHER KING'S DREAMS."

"THE ANSWER TO DR. MARTIN

LUTHER KING'S DREAMS."

"THE ANSWER TO--"

APPARENTLY I MISSED A SPEECH.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT ONE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE

WORKING AT THE CIRCUS?

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

"I BEEN TO THE BIG TOP AND

I'VE SEEN THE PROMISED LAND.

[LAUGHTER]

I MAY NOT GET THERE WITH YOU

BECAUSE CLOWNS GIVE ME THE

CREEPS."

[LAUGHTER]

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