Rocky LaPorte - Doctor

  • Season 9 , Ep 18
  • 06/09/2005
  • Views: 14,554

Rocky LaPorte had a tough week. (2:13)

ARE YOU GOOD?

Audience: YEAH!

Rocky LaPorte: YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

I AH, I'M GOOD NOW, LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN.

>> WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Rocky LaPorte: YEAH, HOW YOU

DOING?

I UH...

[LAUGHTER]

LISTEN LAST WEEK WHAT HAPPENED,

FOLKS.

I HAD TO GO TO COURT, YOU KNOW

ON UH TUESDAY.

MY FRIGGIN LAWYER DON'T SHOW UP.

I END UP IN FRONT OF THIS JUDGE,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL HE'S

TALKING ABOUT.

HE GOES HE GOES UH, "DO YOU HAVE

COUNCIL?"

I GO, "NO I GOT A STICK SHIFT."

[LAUGHTER]

HE GOES, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT?"

I GO, "I DON'T KNOW.

I UH...

CAN I BUY A VOWEL?"

[LAUGHTER

HE GOES, "YOU SHOULD BUY A

THESAURUS."

I GO, "THEY'RE EXTINCT."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I KNOW.

I KNOW.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

MY WHOLE WEEK WAS LIKE THAT.

I HAD TO GO TO THE DOCTOR

THE OTHER DAY.

HE SAID, "HOW'S YOUR HEARING?"

I SAID, "I GO TO COURT TUESDAY!"

[LAUGHTER]

I KNOW.

[APPLAUSE]

WHAT'S HE CARE FOR?

I HATE THE DOCTOR.

FOLKS, YOU EVER GET A

PRESCRIPTION, READ THE

SIDE EFFECTS.

YOU EVER DO THAT?

I ACTUALLY HAD ONE THAT SAID

"MAY CAUSE VOMITING, DIZZINESS,

AND CHEST PAINS."

AND THEN IT SAID "IF IT BECOMES

BOTHERSOME."

[LAUGHTER]

HOW CAN ALL THAT BE BOTHERSOME?

I LIKE WHEN I'M DIZZY.

IT KEEPS MY MIND OFF THE FACT

THAT I'M VOMITING AND HAVING

CHEST PAINS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S A GOOD THING I KEPT READING

IT TOO 'CAUSE IT SAID

"TAKE ORALLY."

[LAUGHTER]

I KNOW I'M LIKE, "WOO!

I JUST SAVED MYSELF A WHOLE LOT

OF TROUBLE."

[LAUGHTER]

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