Jay Larson - Jelly Thunder Trunks

  • Season 15 , Ep 15
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 9,354

Jay Larson believes that his nephew is from another time and has been reincarnated. (2:28)

You guyslike kids?

Yeah.

Love kids.

[cheers and applause]

You don't have to clap,they're not here, you know?

[audience laughing]

I like kids, too.

My favorite arethe little 12 month olds.

You ever see those kids--Twelve months?

It's justone year.

[audience laughing]

I like when they getthose fat, thunder fat,

jelly thunder trunks.

You ever seethose kids?

I want to eatthose kids.

[audience laughing]

My friend has one named,Zoe, and ever time I see her,

I just picture her in a bigpot of boiling chicken stock,

and I'm cuttin'carrots on the side.

Basting her.

I want one.

Not a kid--I just want one leg.

I want one leg-- I'd useit as a stress reliever.

Just to relax--Just to stay loose.

[audience laughing]

People are like,"What's up?"

I'm like, "Dude,I'm stressed.

"Just a baby's leg."

You ever see a kid laughin another language?

Adorable.

[audience laughing]

I was at the airport, and Isaw this little kid walking

with his parents, andhis parents were like,

"a-goo-boo-do,"a-goo-boo-do."

And the kid waslike, "a-goo-boo-do.

"a-goo-boo-do."

[audience laughing]

And I thoughtto myself,

"How does he knowwhat they're saying?"

[audience laughing]

[cheers and applause]

You ever see a little kidthat acts like an old person?

They're like five years old,and you're like, "Hey!

"How youdoin', buddy?"

And they'rejust like...

[audience laughing]

"I've hada long day.

"I've hada long day."

It's like, "Bro,you're five.

"You might wantto relax."

[audience laughing]

My nephew Ben's like that--He's like a little old man.

And, like, I believehe's been reincarnated.

'Cause he's very formal.

He just seems like he'sfrom another time.

So every time I see himI just go up to him,

and I-I grab himby the shoulders,

and I'm like,"who are you?"

And he goes, "you'recrazy, Jason Larson."

'Cause he'll never call me Jay,it's always Jason Larson.

Very formal.

And I'm just hopin' one day he'sgonna let me in on the secret.

You knowwhat I mean?

I'm gonna grab him and I'llbe like, "Who are you?"

And he'll be like,"okay, you're ready."

[audience laughing]

And he's gonnaturn a wall sconce

and a bookshelfwill turn.

We'll be in a secret room,and he'll be writing

on parchment paper with a plumepen, stuffing a musket,

and he'll be like, "I was inthe war of 1812, Jason Larson."

A falcon will come downand give it the note.

"Thaddeus make haste."

And I'll be like, "Areyou Frances Scott Key?"

And he'll be like,Oh say can you see

[audience laughing]

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