Tom Lennon - Parenting Is the Worst Thing That Will Happen to You

  • Season 4 , Ep 2
  • 08/02/2013
  • Views: 55,367

Tom Lennon reveals the truth about being a parent to a two-year-old boy. (1:55)

Uh, if you've never beenin a fire in a coal mine,

parenting is the worst thingthat will ever happen to you.

Be-- Parenting is a Ponzischeme created to sell

yogurt.

Being a parent is exactlylike being in jail, except

that the jail follows youaround and wants to talk

about Transformers.

If you want to get thesensation of dressing a

2-year-old child, gettinghim into clothes, here's

what you do to get thesame experience: put a

rattlesnake into a goat.

That's not a typo.

That's exactlywhat it feels like.

There's only one upside sofar to parenting.

One-- Only one good thinghas come from me parenting.

I have a boy, and when youget to the potty training

stage, at some point youstart going together, which

is kind of fun.

You get camaraderie, andalso something like this can

happen to you, whichwas pretty great for me.

At one point we're both inthe bathroom, and my son

looks over and says,"Daddy, you have a

great, big penis."

To which my response is, "Yep,that's exactly right,

tiny little man with nosense of scale

or perspective."

So, uh, I used tolive here--

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