Whitney Cummings - Institutionalized Sexuality

Whitney Cummings: I Love You Season 1, Ep 1 06/28/2014 Views: 18,019

Whitney Cummings knows why no woman would ever eat at a female version of Hooters. (1:57)

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It's not even weird, though,that guys think about sex.

Like, we've accepted it so muchas a society now.

It's so institutionalized,we've embraced it, you know?

Like, there's justa restaurant called Hooters--

that's just a restaurant.

Whereas there would neverbe a restaurant like, that

for women, you know,called like...


Where all the waiterswere like, in Speedos and shit

'cause that would be adisgusting ( bleep ) restaurant.

Nobody would ever eat there.

We do not want to see yourflaccid dicks in spandex--

I gotta be honest.

It looks like a hamsterstuck in a water balloon.

No. No.

It's alwayslike some weird...

...shitake mushroomcoming out.

It's always going uplike, a snorkel.

Like, why is it up?Get it down there!

It's always like,on one side, all mis--

get it--why is itso misallocated?


Like, if there was going to bea restaurant like, that

for women where the waiterswere dressed up

to arouse the womeneating there,

they would not bein Speedos, okay?

They'd be wearing suits,carrying briefcases,

holding up their perfectcredit reports.


Like, I feel like, girlsdon't need like,

sex while we're doingour jobs, you know? Right?

Like, you would never turn onthe Cooking Channel

and see like, a bunchof shirtless dudes

like, "Yeah, girl,ooh, yeah, yeah.

"Just put that butteron the pan, girl.

"Just get it in the roast."

I just realized I don't knowanything about cooking.

Did you see the wheelsjust turning there?

Like, it wasn'teven clo-- Roast?

No one does a roast anymore.