Rondell Sheridan - Couple Fight

Season 1 , Ep 0102 07/17/02 Views: 2,761

Pets want nothing to do with a married couple's fight. (2:42)

( laughter )

So I'm sitting on the couch

watching a baseball game, and at

their house they have a dog and

a cat.

A little cat, and a little cat

door so the cat can go in and

out of the house.

And they have a dog, but they

don't own a dog door, because

they own a pit bull.

And apparently in their

neighborhood it's illegal for

you house pet to wander out and

back in with, say, a head or an

arm of a neighbor.

( laughter )

So this animal never leaves the

house.

So I'm sitting on the couch,

Keith joins me, we're watching a

game.

From the kitchen I hear,

"Keith!"

At that point, the pit bull

jumps up, shoots through the

tiny cat door, sticks his head

back in, looks me and goes...

( laughter )

Keith doesn't even move.

A minute goes by.

Again from the kitchen I hear,

"Keith!"

At this point I swear I hear the

cat say, "I'm out of here, man."

( laughter )

Shoots out the cat door.

A millisecond goes by.

This time from the kitchen I

hear, "Keith, bring your butt in

here now."

Keith shoots in.

You ever at a married couple's

house when they're having an

argument, but they don't want

you to know they're having an

argument, so they use those

married couple disguised voices,

those voices in which you have

no idea what they're saying, but

you can tell the sexes of the

individuals who are speaking?

That's what I hear in the living

room.

I hear...

( imitating muffled woman's

voice )

( imitating muffled man's

voice )

( imitating muffled woman's

voice )

( imitating muffled man's

voice )

( in woman's voice ) "Who told

you to buy Oreo cookies?"

I hear my best friend of 27

years say my name.

"Rondell told me to buy Oreo

cookies."

( laughter )

At this point I hear, ( imitates

car horn ).

I look outside.

The dog and cat have now

hotwired my car and the cat is

in the front seat yelling, "Get

the hell out of the house!

She will kill you!"

Before I could make it to the

front door, Tracy comes flying

out of the kitchen.

"Did you tell Keith to buy Oreo

cookies?

Because I forbid Keith ever to

bring Oreo cookies into this

house."

Now, Tracy I have known for five

years.

Keith I have known for 27 years.

My best friend.

I walked right up to Tracy and I

said, "No, I did not."

( laughter )

"I actually tried to stop Keith

from buying the Oreo cookies,

because I knew you didn't want

him to have any.

But he said screw you."

( laughter )

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