A Terrible Wizard

  • Season 1 , Ep 8
  • 10/06/2010
  • Views: 36,502

After being transformed into Crystal in order to help Randall, Mark asks Leonard if he'll return him to his own body. (2:08)

LEONARD, YOU CONVINCED METHAT MY VERY LIFE

DEPENDEDON TURNING INTO KRYSTAL.

- REALLY NOT RINGING A BELL.

- TO FREE RANDALL

FROM LIVING THE REST OF HIS LIFEIN A CULT?

- MARK,IN CASE YOU WEREN'T AWARE,

I HAVE A SERIOUSDRINKING PROBLEM.

- WHATEVER,JUST GET YOUR WAND OUT

AND GET MEOUT OF THIS TUBE TOP.

- OF COURSE.I'M NOTHING IF NOT A PRO.

ABRA RE-DUDE-BRA.

[shimmering tone]

HOCUS ADD-A-PENIS.

HUH.

TELL YOU WHAT.

LET ME SLEEP THE BOOZE OFF

AND GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOTIN THE MORNING.

- [grumbles]

- BOY, I COULD GET LOSTIN THOSE EYES.

- YEAH, THEY WANTED METO EAT SOME DUDE'S BRAIN,

THEN PAY, LIKE, 500 BUCKS,

SO I TOLD THEMTO KISS MY GRITS.

- HUH.

I REALLY WISHI HAD THAT INFORMATION

BEFORE I TURNED INTO A GIRL.

- WELL, IT MIGHT NOTBE A TOTAL LOSS.

YOU COULD MAKE A LONGTIMEFANTASY OF MINE COME TRUE.

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

- NO MEANS NO, MISTER.

LET'S SEEIF WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS,

AS NON-HOMICIDAL ADULTS,IN THE MORNING.

- [yelling and pounding]

[gasping and panting]

EW!

- WHAT?

WHOA!

I'VE REALLY LET MYSELF GO.

[cell phone rings]

LEONARD, THANK GOD.WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

- I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.

BUT FIRST, DID YOU GETTHE GIFT BASKET I SENT

FROM DEAN AND DELUCA?

- I DID NOT.

- OH, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BEDELIVERED BEFORE 9:00.

- JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY.

- WELL, IT TURNS OUTTHE SPELL I USED ON YOU

WAS ACTUALLY A CURSE.

LONG STORY SHORT,YOU WILL DIE OF OLD AGE

BY WEEK'S ENDUNLESS YOU--

[mumbles indistinctly]

- I DIDN'T CATCHTHAT LAST PART.

- YOU HAVE INTERCOURSEWITH A MAN

TO COMPLETION.

- YOU ARE A TERRIBLE WIZARD.

- I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.

Loading...