Tammy Pescatelli - Booby Boomerang

  • Season 10 , Ep 10
  • 03/23/2006
  • Views: 24,445

Tammy's grandma has a wardrobe malfunction. (1:52)

THERE'S JUST LIKETHIS WHOLE GENERATION--

ESPECIALLY GIRLS WHO ARE TRYING TO BE PERFECT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. DO YOU KNOW THAT?

LIKE, MEN DON'T TRY TO BE PERFECT FOR US.

- WE'RE LUCKY IF THEY SHOWER. - [LAUGHTER]

AND TRYING TO BE PERFECTWILL GET YOU IN TROUBLE.

'CAUSE I HAD A NEIGHBOR WHO GOT THE SILICONE TITONES,

AND ONE GOT HARD, JUST ONE, LIKE A ROCK.

THEN YOU CAN'T SWIM. YOU JUST KEEP FLIPPING OVER.

I THINK THAT'S WHY THEY CANCELED BAYWATCH, RIGHT.

'CAUSE THOSE BROADS ARE SCARING PEOPLE.

"IS THAT A SHARK?" "NO, THAT'S UNI-BOOB. LEAVE HER ALONE."

RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

AND WHEN THEY GET 'EM DONE NOWADAYS,

HAVE YOU NOTICEDALL OF A SUDDEN

LIKE THEY GIVE THESEEXCUSES TO SHOW 'EM OFF.

IT'S A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION. GET OUTTA HERE, WAR--

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME IF I BELIEVE THAT?

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION, I'VE BEEN GETTING DRESSED

FOR A COUPLA DECADES BY MYSELF NOW.

NEVER ONCE DID I SIT DOWN FOR DINNER WITH MY FAMILY

AND MY TITONE JUST-- HEY. "OH, I'M SORRY, GRANDMA.

IT'S A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION. GET OFF ME."

YOU BETTER PRAY MY GRANDMA NEVER HAS

A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION, 'CAUSE YOU WON'T EAT FOR THREE DAYS.

OKAY, I SWEAR TO GOD. SHE HAS HUGE TITONES,

48 DOUBLE-E-LONG, ARIGHT. THEY'RE AWFUL, AWFUL.

AND THEY'RE LIKE WEAPONS TO HER, OKAY. SHE MAKES 'EM WORK.

SHE'S THE JACKIE CHANOF THE TITONE NUNCHUCKS.

IF YOU ACT UP IN A CORNER, SHE WON'T CHASE YOU.

SHE'LL JUST BOOBIE BOOMERANG YOU.

- JUST-- BOOM! - [LAUGHTER]

YOU LAUGH. YOU GET IN THE FACE WITH A NIPPLE.

YOU WILL STRAIGHTEN YOUR BAD ASS UP.

IT'S NOT MUCH FUN. BUT IT'S CRAZY,

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