I swear right before I getup there Katie's friends
from out of town show up,
and I'm there
climbingover a chest of drawers,
flashlight in one hand,butcher knife in the other,
colander on my head.
I look like somebodywhose parents couldn't afford
a Halloween costume.
You're a spaghetti head.
He also has a butcher knife.
So I get up there,and I am so scared, you guys.
It's like,I can't see anything.
It's super dark.
You know,the flashlight is weak.
I'm looking at the worldthrough holes big enough
to let water throughbut not spaghetti.
I get up there, shaking.
I don't see anything.
I don't see anyone.
But there's one areaaround the corner,
like, behind a cornerlike that
that I can't seefrom where I'm standing.
And I'm like, "Fuuuck."
So I work up my courage.I grip the knife tighter.
I put the colanderdeeper into my head.
I walk over,
and I see...
Never found anything.
But right after that,the noises stopped.
What the fuck?
And I knowit's super disappointing
that therewas nothing there.
But if there wassomebody there,
that would have beenthe first thing
I would've mentionedwhen I came out.
I would have been like,"Fuck Ugly Duckling.
Three years ago,I murdered a hobo."