Demetri Martin - Tiny Garbage Can

Season 1 , Ep 101 01/13/07 Views: 43,863

After testing the skills of the lighting crew, Demetri Martin wonders how small he can go with his garbage cans. (1:16)

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[ LAUGHTER ]

PRETTY GOOD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THE EASIEST TIME TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY

IS WHEN YOU'RE SIGNINGSOMEBODY'S CAST.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"YOU'RE A DICK."

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

"YOU DESERVE THIS.

ALSO, I'M SORRY I BROKE YOUR LEG."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"JERK." [ CHUCKLES ]

I WONDER WHAT'STHE SMALLEST GARBAGE CAN

I CAN PUT ON THE CURB OUTSIDE MY HOUSE...

AND HAVE THEM EMPTY IT AND PUT IT BACK, YOU KNOW?

[ LAUGHTER ]

"I HATE THIS GUY.I HATE THIS GUY.

"THIS FRIGGING TINY -- FOUR? REALLY?

"FOUR TINY GARBAGE CANS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

HE CHAINED THEM UP, MAN!COME ON!"

THEN, ONE TIME,

I WOULD LEAVE A TINY SWEATERNEXT TO THE CANS.

SO WHEN THE GARBAGE MAN COMES, HE'S LIKE, "WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS GUY'S NOT A JERK. WE HAVE A TINY RESIDENT LIVING HERE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"THIS IS APPROPRIATELY SIZED. NEVER MIND.

"REGULAR-SIZE HOUSE, THOUGH --

HE'S DOING VERY WELL FOR HIMSELF."

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