Al Jackson - Drinking Crew

  • Season 15 , Ep 9
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 11,812

A 21-year-old white boy is the only species on this planet that is still excited about drinking. (3:29)

though, man.

Weekend, man,out partying.

People out drinkinga little bit.

Yeah, got one in 'foreyou came in here!

I love it, man.

I-I'm kinda likeretiring as a drinker.

I can see it, man.

I'm in my 30s nowand young people like,

"Why, drink brother."

I can't, dude 'causemy hangovers now...

are like labor day theygo on into Tuesday.

I can't.

And I-I had likea bad introduction

into drinkingas it is.

You know what I'msaying, 'cause like,

when I was 14 years old,my boys got me in a room

and they gave me,uh, Bacardi 151.

- Whoo!

- Do not whoo that.

I-I didn't even knowwhat the 151 stood for.

I thought it waslike Heinz 57 sauce

or Formula 409or some [deleted].

Turns out you havea 151 percent chance

of taking a swingat your dad, so...

Being adults.

And I tell you this onereason I love performing

in New York is just 'cause ofthe diversity of the crowds.

It's like everybody.

It's like you'reconstantly walking around

in a Black EyePeas videos.

It's like-like, black people,Asians, beige people.

It's just great.

That weird Indiandude in the group.

But I tell you this andI am talking to everybody

in the room exceptfor young white guys

'cause I'm gonna getto you all in a second.

But I'm gonnatell you this...

if you're a man ofcolor I know weekends,

Friday, Saturday nightyou go get your boys,

get your crew ofboys and go drinking.

You have to incorporate ayoung 18 to 21 white dude

in yourdrinking crew.

And I'm gonnatell you why.

It's because that age whiteboy is the only species

on this planet that is stillexcited about drinking.

Which you needthat enthusiasm.

'Cause you know, like, youknow we walk into a party

like, "all right, here'sthe Heineken, whatever."

A young white dude willwalk into a house party

with a 12-pack ofPabst Blue Ribbon,

like-like he justcut the head off

a wolf attackinga little girl.

He's like,"look at this!

All right, geton your knees."

You're like, "Ah,where's the funnel?"

[cheering and applause]

And I will give youguys a quick story

of how I realized I had toget at least one white dude

in my crew when Igo out drinking.

I did a comedyfestival in Miami

and the festivalwrapped up

and the wrap partywas in the downstairs

of a Miami hotel,very posh hotel.

And the whole theme, and I hopeI can do this for you guys,

the whole theme of thebottom stairs of the hotel

was just mirrors.

It's Miami, I guess theywant you to do coke,

I don't know.

It's just, it'smirrors everywhere.

So, I hope you all canpicture this, my boy,

who's a comedian,wont' say his name,

got up to go to the bathroomand upon coming back,

if you all canvisualize this.

If this wall here...is a mirror,

he seeing all ofyour faces... here.

So, instead of comingout and making a right

to join the party...

[audience laughter]

my homeboy made thehardest left into a wall.

He hit it so hard, hethought he was bumped into

somebody dressedjust like him.

So, so... so in order to notstart a fight he backed up,

high fived himself,and walked away.

And that's allthat happened.

[applause]

I was like, "Whereare the white boys?"

Where are they?

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