Owen Benjamin - The Breakup Song

  • Season 14 , Ep 3
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 40,521

Owen Benjamin sings "The Breakup Song," about what a guy really wants to say to a woman. (3:24)

GOD, I FEEL LIKE A GIANTAT THIS KEYBOARD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ INTRO PLAYS ]

I ALWAYS PRETEND I HAVE A FRIENDON THE SIDE OF THE STAGE

THAT'S NOT THERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WOULD TOTALLY TAKE REQUESTS,

BUT WE CAN'T --WE CAN'T DO THAT TONIGHT.

MAYBE AFTER THE SHOW,I'LL DO A SING-ALONG.

WANT TO KNOW THE WORST MUSICTO DO COMEDY TO?

THE BEST WAYTO GET OFF A CELLPHONE...

[ SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS ]...WITHOUT HAVING TO LIE...

ASK WHAT TIME IT IS,REPEAT THE TIME REALLY LOUDLY,

AND THEN JUST --AND THEN YOU JUST HANG UP.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I HAVE THIS FEMALE FRIENDWHO WAS TELLING ME --

SHE WAS COMPLAININGABOUT HER BOYFRIEND.

SHE'S LIKE,"HE DOESN'T MAKE ENOUGH MONEY."

I WAS LIKE, "WHAT DOES --WHAT DOES -- WHAT DOES HE MAKE?"

AND SHE WAS LIKE,"HE MAKES LIKE $40,000 A YEAR."

I WAS LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU NEED?"SHE WAS LIKE, "$60,000."

I WAS LIKE, "YOU HAVE ITTHAT MAPPED OUT?" YOU KNOW?

SHE'S LIKE, "I WANT HIM TO BEABLE TO TAKE ME OUT SOMETIMES."

I WAS LIKE -- AND THAT'S PRETTYACCEPTABLE FOR A WOMAN TO SAY.

LIKE, MOST WOMEN WOULD BE LIKE,"YEAH, YOU GO, GIRL.

YOU DESERVE THAT," YOU KNOW?

CAN YOU IMAGINEIF A GUY DID THAT?

I WROTE THIS SONG, CALLED"THE BREAKUP SONG," FOR A GUY --

WHAT A GUY REALLY WANTS TO SAYTO A WOMAN.

IT'S VERY EMOTIONAL.

[ SLOW-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S MY IMAGINARY FRIENDNAMED STEVE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ YOU'RE A SEVEN

♪ AND I DESERVE AN EIGHT

♪ YOU'RE A SEVEN

♪ IT'S PRETTY GOOD,BUT IT'S NOT GREAT ♪

♪ I'M NOT ASKINGFOR A 10 TO BE MY MATE ♪

♪ BUT I KNOW IN MY HEARTTHAT I DESERVE THAT EIGHT ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU.

IT'S ONE OFMY PERSONAL FAVORITES.

IT'S REALLY GOOD TO HOOK UP TO.

IT'S GOOD.NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.

I HAD TO DO A CHILDREN'S PARTYRECENTLY FOR A RELATIVE.

THEY'RE LIKE,

YEAH, CAN YOU ENTERTAIN A BUNCHOF, LIKE, 10-YEAR-OLDS?"

AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL,I TALK ABOUT MY FAKE BALLS."

AND, UH...

SO I WROTE A SONG FOR KIDS,WHAT I THINK KIDS RELATE TO.

YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR IT?

[ CHEERING ]

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

♪ DON'T SAY "LOL"

♪ WHEN YOU JUST MEAN"HEE, HEE" ♪

♪ DON'T SAY "LAUGH OUT LOUD"

♪ 'CAUSE I KNOWYOU'RE LYING TO ME ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ I KNOW WHAT I SAID DIDN'T MAKEYOU REALLY LAUGH OUT LOUD ♪

[ LAUGHS ]

♪ STOP LYING TO ME

♪ DON'T WRITE "OMG"

♪ SAY IT TO "G"

♪ DON'T SAY IT TO ME

♪ "OMG"

♪ YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME

THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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