- Keith only uses lambskin condoms
because after sex, he enjoys a snack.
My name is Anna Valenzuela and I am Battling Kieth Carey.
We've been friendssince I started comedy.
He's seen me before I was funny.
- Anna's just jealous because my body is shaped
like the egg she can no longer produce.
I mean, I've battled strangers before and I've battled
people I know and the more you know people, the deeper
you can cut and the morereal stuff you can find
on 'em, rather than just superficial race
and appearance type stuff.
- What I love about this battleis that you're good friends.
Is that right?
- Yeah, we're like best friends
- Yeah, best friends.
- How did that happen, that you two became best friends?
- She needed to learn how to write a joke,
I need a ride to open mics, so, you know.
- When I took my first Roast Battle, he was the guy
who sat down with my andhelped me sort my jokes.
I feel like I'm battling my sensei.
- Honestly, I think Anna's just jealous because
my parents get to watch the battle on TV
and hers have to watch from where ever Mexican's go
instead of heaven.
- Somewhere along the way,I've said, I have to figure out
how to write rebuttals and no body does it better than him.
- That's absolutely true, I go both ways,
just like Anna's shitty tits.
- You said her boobs went different directions.
I think that was false,she has great boobs.
- You know you're in the NBA, right?
There's so many more boobs for you.
I've watched her battle so manyother people, and it was fun
being like, yeah, now that's happening to me
and seeing all her cold hits.
- I was waiting for angry teapot,
when you widen into a joke.
- Oh I know what I do, I stand like a fuckin' pregnant woman
- Keith, you're a killer but I gotta say, I really think
this was Anna's night, so congratulations,
darling, you got it.
- I love you and I'm going to be fertile
for the next 20 years.
- Eat shit and die.
No, I love you, it was so great, you make me very proud.
I'm glad you're my friend.
- Aw, you're the best!
- [Crowd] Battle,battle, battle, battle!