Exclusive - Roast Battle II: L.A. Regionals Pt. 1 - Keith Carey vs. Anna Valenzuela - Uncensored

Roast Battle II: L.A. Regionals Pt. 1 Season 2, Ep 3 01/15/2017 Views: 6,225

Longtime friends Keith Carey and Anna Valenzuela cut deep during their Los Angeles Roast Battle. (2:00)

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(bell rings)

- Keith only uses lambskin condoms

because after sex, he enjoys a snack.

(audience applauding)

My name is Anna Valenzuela and I am Battling Kieth Carey.

We've been friendssince I started comedy.

He's seen me before I was funny.

- Anna's just jealous because my body is shaped

like the egg she can no longer produce.

(audience laughing)

I mean, I've battled strangers before and I've battled

people I know and the more you know people, the deeper

you can cut and the morereal stuff you can find

on 'em, rather than just superficial race

and appearance type stuff.

- What I love about this battleis that you're good friends.

Is that right?

- Yeah, we're like best friends

- Yeah, best friends.

- How did that happen, that you two became best friends?

- She needed to learn how to write a joke,

I need a ride to open mics, so, you know.

- When I took my first Roast Battle, he was the guy

who sat down with my andhelped me sort my jokes.

I feel like I'm battling my sensei.

- Honestly, I think Anna's just jealous because

my parents get to watch the battle on TV

and hers have to watch from where ever Mexican's go

instead of heaven.

(crowd cheering)

- Somewhere along the way,I've said, I have to figure out

how to write rebuttals and no body does it better than him.

- That's absolutely true, I go both ways,

just like Anna's shitty tits.

(crowd laughing)

- You said her boobs went different directions.

I think that was false,she has great boobs.

(crowd cheering)

- You know you're in the NBA, right?

There's so many more boobs for you.

I've watched her battle so manyother people, and it was fun

being like, yeah, now that's happening to me

and seeing all her cold hits.

- I was waiting for angry teapot,

when you widen into a joke.

- Oh I know what I do, I stand like a fuckin' pregnant woman

- Keith, you're a killer but I gotta say, I really think

this was Anna's night, so congratulations,

darling, you got it.

- I love you and I'm going to be fertile

for the next 20 years.

- Eat shit and die.

No, I love you, it was so great, you make me very proud.

I'm glad you're my friend.

- Aw, you're the best!

- [Crowd] Battle,battle, battle, battle!