Uncensored - Kumail Nanjiani - Pakistani Birthday Entertainment Pt. 3

Kumail Nanjiani: Beta Male Season 1, Ep 1 07/20/2013 Views: 10,586

Kumail Nanjiani pinpoints the moment when he became aware of his own mortality. (1:02)

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After 15--

After 15 of the longest minutesof my life,

just like the rubber bandfrom the hat

is, like, cuttinginto our throats,

we're just, like, watch--

15 of the longest minutesof my life.

The mongoose

rips the snake'swhole head off.

Yeah, which I'm like,if you had that move,

that should have beenmove number one.

Why are you takingso long?

Our souls are shrinking.

Rips the snake'swhole head off,

and that's when the snakestops fighting back.

And it lays therecompletely still,

headless,covered in blood.

And I rememberfor the first time in my life,

I remember thinking,this guy

just had his birthday.

He's getting older.

The snake just died.

Someday I'm gonna die.

Worst fucking birthday.

♪ Happy birthday

♪ Thank you very much


[cheers and applause]