I don't date a lot becauseI make bad decisions.
My go-to move is always,"Let's go to a movie." You know?
"Let's go see a movie."
Movies are horrible dates,right?
You always have that awkwardlook at each other in the movie.
It's, like, so stupid.
And I'm, listen,I'm too emotional.
I'm too emotional,
and I can't let stuff go,all right?
I got to involve
the whole theaterif I see some bullshit.
Like I'm watching Dark Knight Rises, all right?
It said two minutes lefton the bomb.
How the hell he get all the wayout to the ocean? (snorts)
I'm in the theater like,"This is bullshit, right?!
They should be dead already,right? They should be dead."
I count bullets, you know.
If it's a six-shooter, I'm like,"Four, five, six, seven!
What the (bleep) is going onwith this gun?!"
I can't let it go.
But young men,I'm gonna give you guys a tip.
Okay? Here's a tip.
If you're gonna take a chickto the movie,
you look her right in the face,
"Hey, we going to see Transformers 12. Let's go."
Women are very supportive.
They love watching usenjoy stuff.
So we're like little boys.
They're like, "Oh...(laughs)
"Oh, they did it again!
"I don't know why he did itthat time. Oh!
"Ooh, and there'sOpti-- Ultima-- Opt...
Is he a Nissan? Is he a Chevy?"
We don't care 'cause every timeit happens...
(makes mechanical noise)
...you walk out of there happy.
If you let her pick the movie...
you gonna end upin some bullshit.
Women like the worst typeof movie.
Like, they want to take youto a documentary
so you can learnabout some stuff
you don't give a shit about.
Some pretentious nonsense.
I don't want to learn anythingat the movies.
And you got to pretendlike you're into it.
You know, "Thank you forbringing this to my attention.
I didn't know the beeswere having, uh..."
(makes gunshot noise)