Okay, so, uh...
Shakira hasn't turned up,is the only prob...
uh, was the one thingI asked Comedy Central
that if they could justsupply Shakira for the duet,
but... not to worry.
It's, uh... I'll just do...I'll just do both of our parts.
You won't even...you won't even notice
which bit was...was meant to be hers.
♪ It's a rainy night
♪ I lie in bed
♪ Tucked up and warm
♪ Out of the storm
♪ What's that,a knock at the door? ♪
♪ Who could it be?
♪ I run down to see
♪ And there soaked to the skin
♪ Stands
♪ A tiny woman
(laughter)
♪ Oh, David, David,prince of everything ♪
♪ Let me touch your sexy body,let me feel your skin ♪
♪ I've traveled over oceansto get here to you ♪
♪ Thinking of specific thingsthat I'd like to do ♪
♪ So come on, let's goand waste all day ♪
♪ I am Shakira, let's get busy
(cheering)
I'll be honest.
I'm filled with questionsmore than anything else.
The first one being:
♪ Shakira, are you sure
♪ That you've gotthe right address? ♪
♪ Uh, yes, I am, David,and soon you'll have my caress ♪
♪ On your balls, lo-le, lo-le
♪ But, Shakira, how do youeven know who I am? ♪
♪ I watch your videoson YouTube ♪
♪ Your album's in my van
♪ You have a van?
♪ A brown minivan
♪ Eight-seater
♪ But, Shakira,don't you think ♪
♪ This might be someweird obsessive crush ♪
♪ On your partthat's gone awry? ♪
♪ David, look at my hips,they do not lie ♪
And her hips are not lying.
They're like, "Ooh, do me, ooh."
And I realized as the elder oneI'm going to have
to seize the initiative here.
This is ridic... Shakira?
Grab a hold of your lustySouth American horn
for one secondand think about this, you know?
Supposing there was a vibebetween us,
what chance would we have?
I'm away most of the yeardoing shows, and so are you,
so in order to see each other,we'd have to tour together.
And that would be (bleep).
'Cause the people who like you,Shakira, would be baffled
as to what the point of me was.
And the people who like mewould find the idea of you funny
for about 15 seconds, Shakira.
But they are our dreams,Shak-Shaks.
And if we don't have dreams,what do we have?
And Shakira thinks, she goes,
♪ Without dreams
♪ Then we'd just have sleep