Etsy Pitchmen - Maggot Ponytail Holders

  • Season 1 , Ep 0104
  • 10/24/2013
  • Views: 2,134

Tom Lennon, Kyle Kinane and Deon Cole write taglines to boost the appeal of bizarre Etsy products. (2:13)

>> IT'S TIME TO PLAY ESTY PITCHMEN.

IN THE REAL WORLD RETAIL STORESGO OUT OF BUSINESS WHEN THEY

CAN'T PAY RENT.

BUT ON ESTY YOU CAN SELL ALLSORTS OF WEIRD CRAP AND KEEP

YOUR DOORS OPEN.

YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A KILLER TAGLINE TO HELP SELL IT, BECAUSE

THEY NEED.

LIKE THE FIRST ONE, MAGGOTPONYTAIL HOLDER.

THAT'S A REAL THING.

ONLY $6.69.

>> MAGGOT A TRUE FLY GIRL'SNIGHT OUT WITH THIS ACCESSORY.

COMES IN RED, PINK, ORLARV-ENDER.

>> I AM A SUCKER FOR PUNS.

DID YOU TWO.

TWOF 50 POINTS, WELL DONE.

THIS NEXT ONE, KITTY BURGERSPAINTING.

BY THE WAY, $250 FOR THIS.

TOM?

>> HOLD THE TITTIES, HOLD THELETTUCE, SPECIAL TITTIES DON'T

UPSET US.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I KNOW YOU MADE YOURSELF CRINGEA LITTLE BIT, BUT I'M GOING TO

GIVE YOU 250 POINTS FOR THAT.

THE AUDIENCE SEEMED TO BE ONYOUR SIDE.

>> HITLER WAS A PAINTER, AND I'MSURE THE GUY WHO PAINTED THIS

WASN'T THAT BAD.

>> IT WAS PAINTED BY TITLER.

SIX-FOOT TALL SHOE.

THERE IT IS, NEXT TO A HUMAN.

YES, KYLE.

>> YOU SHOULD SEE THE SIDE OFHER DICK.

>> POINTS!

POINTS! THESE ESTY ITEMS AREFLYING OFF THE SHELF.

NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE, CREEPY BABYHEAD FASCINATOR HAIR CLIP.

DELIGHT YOUR FRIENDS.

DEON COLE.

>> WHITE PEOPLE ( BLEEP ).

( APPLAUSE )LET'S NOT START THROWING STONES

AT ESTY.

>> IF YOU LIKE WHITE PEOPLE YOUWILL LOVE THIS NEXT ONE.

A THREE-FACED POPCORN CLOWN.

BAM!

DEON.

>> MORE WHITE PEOPLE ( BLEEP ).

>> YES, MORE POINTS.

250 POINTS.

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