Etsy Pitchmen - Maggot Ponytail Holders

  • Season 1 , Ep 0104
  • 10/24/2013
  • Views: 2,201

Tom Lennon, Kyle Kinane and Deon Cole write taglines to boost the appeal of bizarre Etsy products. (2:09)

>> IT'S TIME TO PLAY ESTY PITCH

MEN.

IN THE REALORLD RETAIL STORES

GO OUT OF BUSINESS WHEN THEY

CAN'T PAY RENT.

BUT ON ESTY YOU CAN SELL ALL

SORTS OF WEIRD CRAP AND KEEP

YOUR DOORS OPEN.

YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A KILLER TAG

LINE TO HELP SELL IT, BECAUSE

THEY NEED.

LIKE THE FIRST ONE, MAGGOT

PONYTAIL HOLDER.

THAT'S A REAL THING.

ONLY $6.69.

>> MAGGOT A TRUE FLY GIRL'S

NIGHT OUT WITH THIS ACCESSORY.

COMES IN RED, PINK, OR

LARV-ENDER.

>> I AM A SUCKER FOR PUNS.

DID YOU TWO.

TWOF 50 POINTS, WELL DONE.

THIS NEXT ONE, KITTY BURGERS

PAINTING.

BY THE WAY, $250 FOR THIS.

TOM?

>> HOLD THE TITTIES, HOLD THE

LETTUCE, SPECIAL TITTIES DON'T

UPSET US.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I KNOW YOU MADE YOURSELF CRINGE

A LITTLE BIT, BUT I'M GOING TO

GIVE YOU 250 POINTS FOR THAT.

THE AUDIENCE SEEMED TO BE ON

YOUR SIDE.

>> HITLER WAS A PAINTER, AND I'M

SURE THE GUY WHO PAINTED THIS

WASN'T THAT BAD.

>> IT WAS PAINTED BY TITLER.

SIX-FOOT TALL SHOE.

THERE IT IS, NEXT TO A HUMAN.

YES, KYLE.

>> YOU SHOULD SEE THE SIDE OF

HER DICK.

>> POINTS!

POINTS! THESE ESTY ITEMS ARE

FLYING OFF THE SHELF.

NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE, CREEPY BABY

HEAD FASCINATOR HAIR CLIP.

DELIGHT YOUR FRIENDS.

DEON COLE.

>> WHITE PEOPLE ( BLEEP ).

( APPLAUSE )

LET'S NOT START THROWING STONES

AT ESTY.

>> IF YOU LIKE WHITE PEOPLE YOU

WILL LOVE THIS NEXT ONE.

A THREE-FACED POPCORN CLOWN.

BAM!

DEON.

>> MORE WHITE PEOPLE ( BLEEP ).

>> YES, MORE POINTS.

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