Steve McGrew - Drinking Problems

  • Season 9, Ep 1
  • 09/24/2004
  • Views: 11,453

Women should spend less money on cosmetics and more on Jack Daniels. (1:36)

YEAH, THAT'S MY BACKGROUND,

I'M FROM OKLAHOMA, MY MOM'S

AMERICAN INDIAN.

MY DAD'S FROM IRELAND.

THERE'S A DRINKING PROBLEM

WAITING TO HAPPEN.

[LAUGHTER]

"HOW...'BOUT ANOTHER ROUND?"

[LAUGHTER]

MY EX-WIFE USED TO THINK I HAD

A DRINKING PROBLEM.

SHE'D LEAVE BROCHURES AROUND.

YOU EVER SEE THOSE BROCHURES,

"ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS.

IF YOU RELATE TO TWO OR MORE,

CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN."

...TEN.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, THEY'RE NOT REAL

QUESTIONS.

THERE NOT, THEY'RE LIKE

QUESTIONS, HAVE YOU EVER FELT

LIKE YOU NEEDED A DRINK?

AHHH!

DO YOU DRINK ALONE?

AHHH!

[BLEEP] I LIVE ALONE.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY'RE NOT REAL QUESTIONS.

THEY SHOULD BE QUESTIONS LIKE,

"IF YOU EVER COME TO IN A

DRYER LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF?"

OOOOH!.

[LAUGHTER]

"HAVE YOU EVER LEFT THE BAR

AND NEEDED TO PEE, FORGET TO

GET OUT OF THE CAR?"

OOOH!

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

"HAVE YOU EVER RUN NAKED

THROUGH THE HAMBURGER STAND

SCREAMING, "I AM THE OTHER

WHITE MEAT!"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THEN YOU MIGHT HAVE A

DRINKING PROBLEM.

HERE'S A LITTLE DRINKING TIP

FOR YOU LADIES.

IF YOU'RE GONNA DRINK, DRINK

JACK DANIELS.

YOU GUYS TOO, YOU, BUT LADIES

YOU SPEND FAR TOO MUCH MONEY

ON COSMETICS.

FOR 12 BUCKS YOU CAN HAVE A MAN

WITH A BOTTLE OF JACK GOING,

"GOD YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL."

[LAUGHTER]

"I'M A LUCKY MAN.

I'M TAKING YOU TO WAL-MART

AND SHOWING YOU OFF."

"LET ME GET THE DOOR FOR YA."

"HE'S A GENTLEMAN."

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