John Oliver - Impressing Your Friends

  • Season 2, Ep 6
  • 04/28/2011
  • Views: 50,417

Even accomplishing the impossible will never be enough for the people who know you best. (1:58)

RECENTLY.

WE WERE TALKING.

IT TURNED OUT SHE WASA CHILDHOOD FRIEND

OF PRESIDENT OBAMA'S,AND I SAID TO HER,

"WELL, THAT MUST BE AMAZING THENFOR YOU

"TO WATCH YOUR FRIEND,THE BOY YOU GREW UP WITH

"SWEAR INTO OFFICEAND TO SEE THE KIND OF REACTIONS

"HE GETS FROM PEOPLE.

IT MUST BE VERY WEIRDTO WATCH THAT."

AND SHE SAID,"EH, YOU KNOW.

I DON'T THINKIT'S THAT BIG A DEAL."

AND I REALIZED, WOW,SO IT IS DEFINITELY TRUE THEN

YOU CAN NEVER IMPRESSYOUR FRIENDS,

EVEN IF YOU BECOME THE FIRSTAFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESIDENT

OF THE UNITED STATES,

THEY'RE JUST NOT GONNA GIVE YOUA PROPS FOR THAT.

HAIL TO THE CHIEF.WHATEVER.

I SAW YOU CRY OVER A GIRL.

(laughter)

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,I WILL STAY SITTING DOWN.

WHY DID THESE PRESIDENTSWANT TO BE PRESIDENT?

IT'S A TERRIBLE JOB.

THE VERY FACT HE WANTEDTO BE PRESIDENT

SHOULD HAVE INSTANTLY RULED HIMOUT OF EVER HOLDING THAT OFFICE

AS IT DEMONSTRATESA CATASTROPHIC LACK OF JUDGMENT.

AND I THINK HE'S STARTINGTO SEE THAT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW HIMA COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.

HE WAS AT THE U.N. FORTHE MIDDLE EAST PEACE SUMMIT

AND HE WAS SITTING AT A TABLEBETWEEN NETANYAHU OF ISRAEL

AND MAHMOUD ABBAS OF PALESTINE

AND HE HAD A LOOK ON HIS EYES,I'VE ONLY EVER PREVIOUSLY SEEN

ON THE FACEOF A FRUSTRATED ZOOKEEPER...

(laughter)

WHO IS TIRED OF TRYINGTO CONVINCE TWO PANDAS

THAT HATE EACH OTHERTO MATE.

"COME ON, LING LI!

"IT'S FOR THE FUTUREOF THE (bleep) SPECIES!

"YOU'RE REALLY NOT AS DIFFERENTAS YOU THINK YOU ARE!

"LET'S EACH THINK OF FIVE THINGSTHAT WE LIKE

"ABOUT THE OTHER PANDA

AND LET'S TRYAND MOVE FORWARD FROM THERE!"

DEMOCRACYIS LIKE A TAMBOURINE.

NOT EVERYONECAN BE TRUSTED WITH IT.

(laughter)

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