Amy Schumer - Wheelchair Dad

  • Season 1 , Ep 4
  • 01/29/2010
  • Views: 45,046

Amy Schumer's dad is in a wheelchair, has multiple sclerosis and thinks he's god's gift to the world. (2:45)

IT'S AN EXCITING TIMEJUST TO BE IN COMEDY.

IT'S WEIRD TO THINK THIS'LLWIND UP ON THE INTERNET.

IT'LL JUST BE IN THE UNIVERSEFOREVER, RIGHT?

SO THIS IS KIND OF CORNY,BUT I JUST--

I WANNA DEDICATE THIS SETTO, UM,

MY UNBORN CHILDREN.(laughter)

I'M--I'M SORRY I NEVERGOT TO MEET YOU GUYS.

(laughter)

DO I LOOK OKAY?YEAH?

UH...(laughter)

THANK YOU, REALLY.

I ALMOST DIDN'T MAKE ITBACK HERE

I WAS SO CRAZY AT THIS POINT.

IT WAS HORRIBLE WEATHERIN DENVER.

ALL FLIGHTS WERE GROUNDED.63-MILE-AN-HOUR WINDS.

NORTHWEST WAS LIKE, "NO."

DELTA WAS LIKE,"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

AND U.S. AIR WAS LIKE,"WE'LL DO IT."

(laughter)

WE'RE ALL BOARDING THE PLANE,

LIKE, HEARING THE MUSICFROM "LA BAMBA."

LIKE,"WHY ARE THEY DOING IT?"

(laughter)

"IS THIS OKAYWITH EVERYBODY?"

THE PILOT CRACKS A BEER.

HE'S LIKE, "...HOP IN.DO WANT TO GO OR NOT?"

(laughter)

WOW. I HATE FLY--I'M, LIKE, REALLY SUPERSTITIOUS.

YOU KNOW, LIKE I'M ALWAYSCARRYING WITH ME,

LIKE, A 4-LEAF CLOVEROR, ;IKE, A BABY'S FOOT, JUST--

(laughter)

NOW MY DAD IS 60 YEARS OLD.

HE HAS M.S.HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR.

THIS IS TRUE,BUT DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM

BECAUSE HE THINKSHE IS GOD'S GIFT TO THE WORLD.

HE THINKS HE IS THE HOTTEST--

I CATCH HIM IN THE MIRRORBEING LIKE,

"PEW, YOU STILL GOT IT."(laughter)

WE'RE ALL LIKE,"RELAX, DAD."

I'M AT THE WEDDING,AND I'M JUST, LIKE,

"DAD, CONGRATULATIONS,I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU."

YOU KNOW,AND HE WAS JUST LIKE,

"I JUST HOPE I CAN STAYATTRACTED TO THIS ONE."

(laughter)

WE'RE LIKE,"DAD, YOU...YOURSELF."

(laughter)

WHAT?

HE'S LIKE, "I JUST HOPE SHEDOESN'T GAIN ANY WEIGHT."

(laughter)

I GUESS THAT'S JUST HOWHE ROLLS, BUT I DON'T KNOW.

(laughter)

IT'S WEIRD.IT'S WEIRD.

YOU'RE GONNA BE SO JEALOUS.

WITH THIS MARRIAGE,

I HAVE JUST INHERITEDA 7-YEAR-OLD VIETNAMESE BROTHER

WHICH I'D, LIKE,TOTALLY BEEN MEANING TO GET,

BUT, UH, SAVED ME A TRIPTO THE DOLLAR STORE.

(laughter)

NO, THAT'S WHO MAKETHE TOYS THERE.

DON'T GET WEIRDON ME, GUYS.

NO,I LOVE THIS KID SO MUCH.

SO OUR NEW THING,WE PLAY HIDE AND GO SEEK,

AND WHENEVER I FIND HIMI'M LIKE,

"THERE'S CHARLIEALL OVER THIS PLACE."

(laughter and applause)

THAT'S HIS NAME, GUYS.

NO, I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME.IT'S SOMETHING WEIRD,

BUT, UH...(laughter)

IT'S CREEPY.

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