Uncensored - Neal Brennan - Thinking About Race All the Time

Neal Brennan: Women and Black Dudes Season 1, Ep 101 01/18/2014 Views: 6,744

Neal Brennan doesn't have any solutions for racial issues, but he does know that some ideas white people propose just won't work. (2:29)

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YEAH, I'M VEGAN.

PLEASE,PLEASE HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE.

NO, I GOT -- I, YOU KNOW,I LIVE IN L.A.,

SO IT'S EASY TO BE VEGAN.

YOU NEED BIG CITIES.

NEW YORK, L.A., IT'S EASY,BUT THE REST OF THE COUNTRY,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL WALKUP TO PEOPLE AND BE LIKE,

"HEY, WHERE DO FAGGOTS EAT?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WISH I HAD MORE ON THAT JOKE.THAT'S THE WHOLE JOKE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ LAUGHS ]

BUT THAT'S WHAT'S GREATABOUT STAND-UP.

IT'S LIKE, I SAY "FAGGOT."

YOU KNOW I'M THE FAGGOTIN THAT JOKE. IT'S FINE.

THAT'S -- OFFSTAGE, THAT'S --WE CAN SAY STUFF.

LIKE, OFFSTAGE ESPECIALLY, LIKE,ME AND MY BLACK COMIC FRIENDS

WILL HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

WHERE THEY'LL SAY FUNNY STUFFABOUT WHITE PEOPLE

AND I'LL SAY FUNNY STUFF ABOUTBLACK PEOPLE, AND IT'S COOL.

THEY'LL BE LIKE, "NEAL,

"YOU KNOW WHITE PEOPLEARE SICK IN THE HEAD, RIGHT?

"THAT'S WHYY'ALL BE KILLING MOTHERFUCKERS

"AND FREEZING THEMAND EATING THEM MONTHS LATER.

"SO YOU PEOPLE ARE DERANGED,BROTHER.

"THAT'S WHY YOU NEVER SEEANY BLACK SERIAL KILLERS,

"IS 'CAUSE BLACK PEOPLEAREN'T SICK IN THE HEAD

LIKE WHITE PEOPLE ARE."

I'M LIKE, "NO, DUDE,

"THE REASON I'VE NEVER SEENA BLACK SERIAL KILLER

"IS 'CAUSE YOU GUYSKILL ONE PERSON

AND ARE IMMEDIATELY ARRESTED."

[ LAUGHTER ]

MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T WRITE A SONGABOUT IT THAT AFTERNOON.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"HOW'D YOU CATCH ME?""HOT 97."

"ALL RIGHT, FAIR ENOUGH."

SO, YEAH, I THINK ABOUT RACEALL THE TIME.

SOLUTIONS -- EH, I DON'T KNOW.

PEOPLE TRY TO COME --

WHITE PEOPLE ESPECIALLY HAVETERRIBLE SOLUTIONS FOR IT.

LIKE,THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE...

LIKE, THERE WAS A STORYON "60 MINUTES" LAST YEAR

ABOUT "HUCKLEBERRY FINN,"THE BOOK -- MARK TWAIN BOOK,

"HUCKLEBERRY FINN."

ALL RIGHT, "HUCKLEBERRY FINN" --I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS --

"HUCKLEBERRY FINN"HAS A BUNCH OF "N" WORDS IN IT.

IT'S GOT 219 "N" WORDS IN IT,

YEAH, WHICH TO MEIS SIX TOO MANY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THERE'S A LINE.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

ALL RIGHT, SO, NOW,

THE STORY WAS ABOUTWHITE PEOPLE'S BIG PLAN IS,

THEY WANT TO GET RIDOF ALL THE "N" WORDS

IN "HUCKLEBERRY FINN."

IT WAS JUST SOME TYPICALWHITE-PEOPLE SHIT FOR YOU.

LIKE, THAT'SWHITE PEOPLE'S GRAND SOLUTION

FOR HELPING BLACK PEOPLE.

LIKE, SOME WHITE STATISTICIAN'SLIKE, "YOU KNOW, FELLAS,

"I'VE BEEN LOOKINGAT THE NUMBERS.

"BLACK PEOPLE HAVE SHORTERLIFE-SPANS, CAN'T GET LOANS,

"AND DON'T HAVE ACCESSTO FAIR EDUCATION.

"BUT I THINKI HAVE THE SOLUTION.

"WE'RE GONNA GET RID OF THE 'N'WORDS IN 'HUCKLEBERRY FINN.'

IT'S GONNA CHANGE EVERYTHINGFOREVER."

LIKE, SOME BLACK KIDSDROPPING OUT OF SCHOOLWILL BE LIKE, "FUCK SCHOOL.

I'M GONNA SELL DRUGSFOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,"

AND THEY'LL BE LIKE,"HEY, DONNELL,

WE GOT RID OF THE 'N' WORDSIN 'HUCKLEBERRY FINN.'"

"YOU DID WHAT NOW? ALL RIGHT."

[ LAUGHTER ]