Louis C.K. - Embarrassing Situations

  • Season 5 , Ep 10
  • 09/02/2001
  • Views: 44,541

Louis C.K. admits to being embarrassed for 80% of his life. (2:14)

BECAUSE YOU RAN OUT OF CLEAN

UNDERWEAR?

BUNCHING UP HAPPENING HERE.

C'MON.

I'M A MESS.

I DID THAT ON A DATE ONCE.

I WAS WEARING A BATHING SUIT

UNDER MY PANTS BECAUSE I DIDN'T

DO LAUNDRY.

SHE WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN EXCEPT

I HAD THAT WHITE STRING FLAPPING

OUTSIDE OF MY FLY.

SHE'S LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU HAVE A

TAMPON IN THERE?"

WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M EMBARRASSED FOR 80%

OF MY LIFE.

AND I HATE IT.

YOU EVER GET EMBARRASSED

FOR LIKE A LITTLE THING BUT YOU

KINDA WANNA KILL YOURSELF?

LIKE ONE TIME, YOU KNOW WHEN YOU

GET IN AN ELEVATOR YOU GO TO

PRESS YOUR FLOOR BUTTON AND IT'S

ALREADY BEEN PRESSED?

IT'S LIT UP.

YOU KNOW THAT THEY ALL SAW YOUR

FINGER GO THERE AND THEN STOP.

THAT'S ONE OF THOSE MOMENTS

WHERE YOU MAKE THAT NOISE WHERE

YOU DON'T ACTUALLY MAKE WORDS.

(MUMBLING)

(LAUGHTER)

I HATE THAT.

JUST THOSE LITTLE THINGS.

THE OTHER DAY THIS GUY ASKED ME

THE TIME.

I HATE THAT.

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME THE

TIME ON THE STREET.

SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ME,

I JUST PANIC.

I CAN'T READ MY WATCH.

WHEN I'M ALONE, I'M GREAT AT

READING MY WATCH,

(APPLAUSE)(

BUT WHEN SOMEBODY ASKS ME

I JUST HAVE THIS ANXIETY ATTACK

AND I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT OUT.

"YOU HAVE THE TIME?"

"YEAH, I GGG... I...

IT'S LIKE THIS."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I ALWAYS END UP SAYING SOMETHING

USELESS LIKE, "IT'S TWENTY OF

9:40".

YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOW WHEN

PEOPLE ASK ME?

THEY'RE LIKE, "DO YOU HAVE THE

TIME?"

I JUST GO, "YEAH."

(HORN NOISES)

'CAUSE THEN THEY MOVE ON.

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