Bobby Bottleservice - Ghost Bouncers

  • Season 1 , Ep 3
  • 01/30/2013
  • Views: 39,093

When Bobby Bottleservice and Peter Paparazzo investigate a haunted tourist site, they are pleased to discover that it was once a brothel. (2:23)

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- OH, OKAY,I'M BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE,

AKA, BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE.

I HAVE A GREAT DESIRETO KNOW THE UNKNOWABLE.

TO SEE THE UNSEEABLE.

TO UNDERSTAND PARALEGALACTIVITY.

AKA, GHOSTS.

[bell peals]WITH ME, AS PER ALWAYS,

IS MY BEST FRIENDAND NIGHT-VISION VIDEOGRAPHER,

PETER PAPARAZZO...

- YO, I'M NOT PARTICULARLYAFRAID OF ANY SPECIFIC GHOST.

- AND OUR DEAF/MUTESOUND GUY GIAN.

I MEAN, THIS KIDALWAYS SHOWS UP.

AND TOGETHER,WE'RE VERY MUCH GHOST BOUNCERS.

[woman screams]

SO WE RECENTLY GOT A CALL FROMAN OLD-TIMEY TOURIST LOCATION

THAT THEY HAD FOUND GHOSTS.

SO WE WENT DOWN THERETO FIND THOSE GHOSTS

AND BOUNCE THOSE GHOSTS OUT,BRO.

- THIS BUILDING DATES BACKTO THE 1800s,

WHEN IT WAS ORIGINALLYA BROTHEL.

AND IN 1854,THERE WAS A MASSIVE FIRE HERE

THAT DESTROYED MUCH OFTHE THIRD FLOOR AND THE ATTIC.

- WE WERE VERY MUCH AROUSEDTO LEARN THAT THIS LOCATION

HAD AT ONE TIME BEENA BROTHEL.

DUDE, THIS PLACE IS SO OLD.

THERE'S NO, LIKE,FLAT SCREENS OR ANYTHING.

- YO, IS THAT A GHOST?- NO, BRO.

THAT'S A VERY MUCH CUTE,ADORABLE ELDERLY WOMAN.

- SINCE BEEN RECONSTRUCTED,AND OBVIOUSLY...

- [scoffs] WHAT IS THIS,LITTLE HOUSE ON THE SCARY?

- [laughs]GIAN, YOU GET THAT, BRO?

- NOW PLEASE FOLLOW MEUPSTAIRS.

[woman screams]

NOW, ONE GIRL DID DIEIN THE FIRE.

[woman screams]SHE WAS 16 YEARS OLD,

AND AS THE STORY GOES,SHE WAS ON HER WAY

TO TURN HER FIRST TRICK.

- SO SHE WAS A WHORE?- SHE WAS, YES.

- BUT IN ADDITION TO,AS WELL AS, SHE WAS A VIRGIN?

- YES.

- OH, VIRGIN WHORE, BRO!- PERFECT.

- PERFECT. DUDE![snaps fingers]

APPARENTLY THIS WOMANWAS A GIRL

WHO WAS ALSO A VIRGIN BUT,AS WELL AS, A HOOKER

WHO HAD DIED IN A FIRE.

- SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY SMELLTHE WAFT OF A JASMINE PERFUME.

- I VERY MUCH PUT MATHEMATICSTOGETHER

AND REALIZED THAT THIS VIRGINWAS ALSO

AND, AS WELL AS,THE GHOST.

[woman screams]

WOULD YOU DATE ME?

'CAUSE I THINK I LOVE YOU.

WHY DO YOU LOOK AWAY?WHY DON'T YOU SMILE FOR ME?

IT TURNED OUT THIS GHOSTWAS NO DEMON.

TSK, TSK, TSK.SHE WAS AN ANGEL.

- [ghostly whisper]BOBBY.

[woman screams]

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