Bringing the Turn-Up

Jamallies Season 1, Ep 1 09/14/2016 Views: 2,718

Things are looking up after Jamal's new drug becomes a hit at Randy's party, but the positive effects prove to be short-lived. (3:19)

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- Oh look, the freshmanshit crew is here.

- [mumbling]...turn up?

- You heard the man.

Did y'all bringthe turn up or what?

- They brought the treats.They cool.

- ♪ Pop that, pop that ♪

[all chanting]Randy, Randy, Randy!

Oh, hell yeah.This shit is nice!

I guess I'llgive you all a pass.

[laughs]

For now.

- Time to hollerat some breezies.

Bubblicious on the breath?Check.

Black Jesus on the chain?Double check.

Semi-circleshaved around the base

for that extra 1/2 inch?

You already know.

- This shit gonnabe hilarious.

- ♪ P-I-M-P, bitch

- Say, Thotty Pippen,can a brother my complexion

roll in your direction?

Aye, shorty,ever had a milk mustache?

Skip the bullshit.You tryin' to hump?

- Come near me again,and I'll rip

your little pink dick offand shove it up your ass!

- Damn, girl!- Is you all right, my nig?

- You saw it, yo.

She fondled my junkin front of everybody,

and I ain't gonna lie...

[whispering]I nutted a little.

[both laughing]

[rumbling]

- Aw, shit!

- Oh, hell no, Jamal.

You can't call nobody?

- She about to go"Basketball Wives" on yo ass.

- Come on, Medina.

Why you got toblow up the spot?

[whispers]Let's just talk later.

- Nah, nah, nah.

You little short,fat motherfucker.

You didn't say thatwhen you was

killin' my goodie boxlast night.

[laughter]

- You trippin', girl.

Only thing killin'your coochie

is the stink of themleftover doo-boo crumbs!

[all exclaim]

- You want to talk shit,you little milk dud

with a afrolookin' motherfucker?

Your dick so small,you pee on your nuts!

[laughter]all: Oh!

- Oh, it's like that, huh?

Well, you're so fatthat your blood type

is sriracha, bitch!

[all exclaim]

[laughter]- [slurps]

You into somekinky shit, Jamal.

You put whipped cream in placesI didn't even know I had.

I'm gonna haveyour baby, Jamal.

- Isn't that Precious?

No, seriously, is it?

[both laughing]

- Yo, I think them Jamalliesare kicking in.

- Not bad for a dudefailing chemistry.

all: Jamallies,Jamallies, Jamallies!

- Yo, those Jamalliesturnt it up!

To show my appreciation,

I got a littlesomething something

y'all might like.

- Come in here, legends.- We're so horny.

- Aw, yeah.

We all aboutto get our nuts!

[thumping and ripping]

[laughter]

- That's it![laughter]

- Yeah, let that bea lesson to you, fresh fish.

That's how I do.

[mocking]I thought I was gonna

get laid today.

- I'm gonna takeyour dime and your shine,

you basic bitch!

all: Oh!- Oh, snap!

- [mumbling] I told you thesenigs on some new improved shit.

- I'm about topush your wig back

like LeBron's hairline.

- Ooh-whee!

[stomach grumbles]

- [retches]

[dramatic music]

[shouting and groaning]

- [roars]

- Fucking Jamallies!

No!