Jimmy Carr - Being from Britain

  • Season 13 , Ep 17
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 19,609

Jimmy met an American woman who said all Englishmen were repressed and uptight. He got angry, but he managed to hide it. (2:13)

I'M JIMMY CARR.

I'M ONE OF THE BIGGEST FACESIN BRITISH COMEDY.

LITERALLY, I'VE GOT ONEOF THE BIGGEST FACES.

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT.IT'S LIKE THE MOON.

PROBABLY AFFECTINGYOUR MENSTRUAL CYCLE

JUST BEING THIS CLOSE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I HAD HASSLEGETTING OUT THIS EVENING.

I HAD TO ORGANIZE A BABYSITTER.

I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN.

I'VE JUST FOUND THEY'RE A LOTCHEAPER THAN ESCORTS.

THERE'S PRETTY MUCH NOTHINGTHEY WON'T DO FOR $40.

I HEARD A LITTLE SMATTERINGOF APPLAUSE FOR THAT.

WELL DONE, YOU.

WHEN I TOLD MY MUM I WANTEDTO GROW UP AND BE A COMEDIAN,

SHE SAID, "YOU CAN'T DO BOTH."

I'M FROM GREAT BRITAIN,OBVIOUSLY.

WHAT MAKES BRITAIN GREAT IS OURABILITY TO LAUGH AT OURSELVES.

AND WHEN I SAY "OURSELVES,"I MEAN OTHER PEOPLE.

AND WHEN I SAY "LAUGH,"I MEAN "INVADE."

[ APPLAUSE ]

SORRY.

I MET AN AMERICAN WOMAN WHO TOLDME SHE THOUGHT ALL ENGLISH MEN

WERE REPRESSED AND UPTIGHT.

I WAS ANGRY. I WAS UPSET.

BUT I MANAGED TO HIDE IT.

PEOPLE ASK ME,"WHAT WERE YOU LIKE AT SCHOOL?"

SO I TELL THEM,"I WAS A LITTLE BLACK GIRL."

[ LAUGHTER ]

THERE'S ABOUT HALFOF YOU LAUGHING,

HALF OF YOU THINKING, "WAS HE?"

I SAW A HOMELESS GUYGETTING OFF THE BUS.

I THOUGHT, "WELL,HOW DOES HE KNOW IT'S HIS STOP?"

I HAD AN AMAZING CAB DRIVERHERE IN NEW YORK CITY.

A CAB DRIVER,HE WAS SMILING AND WHISTLING,

CLEARLY IN A BRILLIANT MOOD.

HE SAID, "I LOVE MY JOB.I'M MY OWN BOSS.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO."

I SAID, "LEFT HERE."

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