Uncensored - Giraldo Tribute - Insomniac Tour

Season 1 , Ep 101 03/18/11 Views: 15,799

Dave Attell recalls all the temptation on the road during the Insomniac Tour and how Greg Giraldo handled an unexpected situation onstage. (2:12)

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'CAUSE I GOT TO PICK SOME OFTHE COMICS WHO WERE ON IT.

AND ONE OF THEM WAS GREG.

- THIS GUY LOOKS FUNNY THOUGH.- THIS GUY IS GOOD.

- HE ACTUALLY LOOKS FUNNY.- THANKS.

- I THOUGHT HE WAS AN UNDERCOVERCOP IN A '70S TV SHOW,

BUT HE'S NOT.

AND GREG REALLYDID ME A SOLID.

- AFTER DINNER, WE GO TOTHE MAKE-YOUR-OWN SUNDAE BAR,

AND WE MAKE SUNDAESFOR EACH OTHER.

- OKAY.- DANE IS SOBER,

BUT THE REST OF US, LIKE,WE WERE HARD-CORE DRUNK.

SO, LIKE, WE DEFINITELYCOULDA, LIKE,

TORE THROUGH THAT TOWN.

- I WAS INA RESTAURANT RECENTLY.

THE WAITRESS SAYS,"HEY, GANG, DID YOU LEAVE

"ANY ROOM FOR DESSERT?

DID YOU LEAVE ANY ROOMFOR DESSERT?"

DID YOU LEAVE ANY ROOMFOR DESSERT?

HOW GLUTTONOUSA CONCEPT IS THAT?

IS THERE ANY ROOM LEFT

IN YOUR FAT FUCKING BODYCAVITY FOR MORE?

DID YOU LEAVE ANY SPACE?

IS THERE ANY PHYSICAL WAYWE COULD CRAM MORE SHIT

IN YOUR FAT, BLOATED FACE,YOU FAT FUCK?

ANY CHANCE AT ALL?

ANY SPACE IN YOURDISTENDED ESOPHAGUS?

WE GOT DUDES WITH PLUNGERSTHAT'LL COME OUT

AND CRAM ITRIGHT IN YOUR HEAD.

ANY CHANCE AT ALL?WON'T THAT BE NEAT, GANG?

WON'T THAT BE A GREAT WAYTO CELEBRATE

YOUR HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

[laughter]

- WHEN WE DIDTHE VEGAS SPECIAL,

IT WAS A LOTOF TEMPTATION.

BUT, YOU KNOW, WE WERE THERETO DO A JOB,

AND I THINK WE DID IT.[laughs]

- YOU ROCKED, AND I'M NOTJUST SAYING THAT.

- HEY, SUCK-UP, I'M OVER HERE.IT WAS MY SHOW.

- NO, YOU DIDN'T DO AS WELLAS I EXPECTED.

YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND,KIND OF BLEW.

- AT ONE POINTDURING HIS SET,

THE FIRE ALARMIN THE CASINO WENT OFF.

- THESE LITTLE FUCKING12-YEAR-OLD GIRLS

WALKING AROUND WITH JUICY--[alarm blares]

HOLY SHIT.

WAIT, ARE WE SUPPOSEDTO BE CONCERNED, ANYBODY, OR--

ALL THE FUCKING PRODUCERS,

THE PEOPLE IN THE SOUND TRUCKHAVE DRIVEN OFF.

IT'S JUST USBURNING TO DEATH.

- THAT'S KIND OF FUNTO, LIKE, DEAL WITH

FOR, LIKE, A MINUTE.

BUT IF KEPT GOING OFFTHROUGHOUT HIS SET,

LIKE OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

SO IT WAS AMAZINGHOW HE HANDLED IT.

- HOW BAD WOULD THAT BLOW?

I QUIT DRINKING, I'M IN VEGASWITHOUT DRINKING,

AND THEN I DIE IN A FUCKINGFIERY CRASH THAT DAY?

- AS A GUYWHO DID DRINK HEAVILY,

I MEAN, I TOTALLY GOT IT,

AND I KNEWWHAT HE WAS GOING THROUGH.

AND FEW PEOPLE KNOW THAT,LIKE, HE REALLY DID,

UM, TRY TO GET SOBER.

I MEAN, HE REALLY DID.

BUT I THINKIN HIS HEAD THAT, LIKE,

HE WAS JUST TOO SMARTFOR IT ALL, YOU KNOW?

HE REALLY JUSTWAS TOO SMART FOR IT.

- SAY CHEESE!- OH, YOU GOT IT.

NICE!

[cheers and applause]

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