Joey Vega - Beach at Night

  • Season 1 , Ep 1
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 7,898

Joey Vega picks up everyone on the way to the beach. (1:55)

Vega: MY FATHER WOULD TAKE USTO THE BEACH ONCE A YEAR.

WE LIVED 15 MINUTES AWAYFROM THE BEACH.

MY FATHER WOULD WAKE US UPAT 3:30 IN THE MORNING.

COME ON! WE'RE GOINGTO THE BEACH, LET'S GO!

PAPI, IT'S 3:30IN THE MORNING!

I'M GONNA BEATTHE TRAFFIC.HA HA HA!

IT'D BE, LIKE, 4:00IN THE MORNING WHENHE'D PACK US IN THE CAR.

HE'S BRAGGING.LOOK AT THAT,NO TRAFFIC, EH!

HA HA HA!

NO FREAKING SUN,EITHER, POP!

IT'S NIGHT TIME!

AND HE'D STOP AND PICK UP--ETHNIC PEOPLE DO THIS, RIGHT?

WE PICK UP PEOPLEON THE WAY TO THE BEACH.WHAT THE HELL IS IT--?

COME ON, WHERE ARE YOUGOING, TO CHURCH?

GOD, COME ON, GET IN!GET IN THE CAR!

AND WE GET TO THE BEACH,LIKE, 4:00, 4:15.

PUT THE COOLER, THE BLANKET,THE STEREO, DOMINOS, MARACAS,3 GRANDMOTHERS.

WE SIT THERE AT 4:00IN THE MORNING UNDER THE MOONTRYING TO GET A MOON-TAN.

[HOWLING]

AND THEN, THEN YOU COULDN'T GOSWIMMING IF YOU ATE, RIGHT?

YOUR MOTHER WASTHE ONLY ONE THAT KNEW

HOW LONG YOU COULD WAITAFTER YOU EAT BEFOREYOU COULD GO SWIMMING.

MY MOTHER'D LOOK AT ME..."WHAT DID YOU HAVE, NENE?"

HAM AND CHEESE, MAYONNAISE?38 MINUTES.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE?PORK CHOPS, RICE AND BEANS?

THAT'S AN HOUR, 49!

YOU CAN'T GO IN THE WATER.

AND YOU COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT

'CAUSE YOUR FATHER'S IN THEWATER HAVING A SANDWICH, RIGHT?

"COME ON, LET'S GO!

IT'S GONNA BE DAYLIGHT SOON.WE GOTTA GO!"

BUT THAT'S THE THINGABOUT THE BEACH ISTHE WOMEN LOOK GREAT.

GOD BLESS ETHNIC WOMEN--LATINAS AND BLACK WOMEN.

OHHH! OHHH!

WHEN THEY TURN 30--BAGANA!

THEY SHOW IT OFF, TOO, RIGHT?YOU KNOW THEY'RE PROUD.

WHITE WOMEN, WHEN YOU GETTHE BIG ASS, WHITE WOMENGET ALL CRAZY.

YOU GO...

HONEY, YOUR ASS ISGETTING' BIG.

WHAT?!NO, STOP IT. NO!

NOOOOO!

YOU TELL A LATINA OR BLACK WOMANHER ASS IS GETTING' BIGGER,

REALLY?NO, REALLY?

IT'S BIG...

I KNOW IT'S BIG.

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