I learned how to fightfrom my older brother.
I grew up fighting withmy older brother all the time.
The problem with that isyou learn fighting skills
that aren't necessarilyapplicable in the real world.
[laughter]Do you know what I mean?
Like, I can't be in a bar fight
and just jump-kicka guy in the back...
And then lock myselfin the bathroom
till my mom comeshome from work.
We would go at it all the time.
My dad's crazy.
One time my dad got sick of it,
and he was like, "Oh, you twolike fighting so much?
How about you fight for real?"
Fighting for real,according to my dad,
was making us put onour winter gloves
and box in the backyard...[laughter]
while he sat in a lawn chairand watched...
Just clearly forhis own amusement.
My father is the Michael Vickof children.
Who wouldn't pay to seetwo shirtless little boys...
with tears streamingdown their faces
as they beat the shitout of each other
with Transformers mittens?
he would just yell stuff
that there was nothingto say back to like--
I got in trouble
for smoking weed ineighth grade.
And I came home from school,
and my dad got in my face,
and he goes,
"I made it throughthe Vietnam War
"without smoking pot.
And you couldn't make itthrough middle school?"
What do you say to that?
"Yes, sorry you werethe only nerd in Vietnam."