Thank you very much.Thank you very much.
So kind. Oh!
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
Please have a seat.Please... Thank you.
-Thank you very much.Thank you. -MAN: Larry!
Yes, I am Larry Wilmore.Thanks, man, I appreciate that.
He tried. "Larry...Nobody else is saying it."
I am Larry Wilmore.By the way, Miss USA,
Deshauna Barber,joins us on the panel tonight.
USA! USA! USA.
Okay, tonight I wantto dedicate this first act
to talking about a subjectthat I don't think
we pay enough attention to
because of the crazinessof our world.
I'm talking about wildlife.
Now, it's upon us to be stewardsof these creatures
who really have no...
I'm just kidding.We're talking about Trump.
-(cheering, applause)-Come on, guys.
All right,roll the Unblackening.
So wrong, so wrong.
Okay, funny story--
couple weeks ago,we were all saying,
"Man, Trump just criticizedthe family of a fallen soldier?
There's no way he could doanything worse than this."
Hillary wants to abolish,essentially abolish,
the Second Amendment.
If she gets to pick her judges--
nothing you can do, folks.
Although, the Second Amendmentpeople, maybe there is.
I don't know.
Yup, that's right. Donald Trumpnot so subtly hinting
that gun rights activistsshould "do something"
about Hillary Clinton.Really? You're joking about
your political opponentbeing whacked.
Okay, guys,I used to think rational,
well-intentioned people could beon opposite sides of the aisle
and intelligen...intelligently debate the merits
of both governing philosophies.But you know what?
At this point,if you vote for Trump,
you're just a dick.Seriously.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.I'm sorry.
I hope you get destroyedby a horse-sized duck.
How about that?
How about that?
That's all I'm saying.
No, horrible thing to say.
It's an inside joke.I apologize.
No, because there'sno possible way
this can bemisinterpreted, right?
Okay, let's hear from Trump's
chief spokesgoblin,Katrina Pierson...
and join meas I watch in amazement
as the (bleep)pours out of her mouth.
Mr. Trump was sayingexactly what he said.
He was talking aboutHillary Clinton and gun control.
But, Katrina,he was talking about
what Second Amendment activistscould do
to stop her if she won.
PIERSON:Well, no, that's-that's actually
not what he was talking about.
Okay, let me stop youright there. (bleep) you.
That is what he wastalking about.
I don't care how convolutedyour explanation is.
We're not stupid.We can hear.
Stop trying to explain him away.
But it wasn't just her tryingto force-feed us this turd taco.
You're treatingMr. Trump's words like he is
the most articulate personwho's ever graced our ears
with his words,and-and that is not true.
But... So, let's say thathe was an-an English professor
with a PhD in-in grammar.
First of all,
you can't get a PhD in a subject
that's taughtin the fifth grade, okay?
That's like gettinga bachelors of science
in kickball or something, right?
And, second, just to be clear,
your argument is that Trumpis so incoherent
he can't be held accountable
when his words mightconstitute a federal crime.
And, of course, what defenseof Trump would be complete
without the human embodimentof impotent rage himself,
You know how speeches go.He was talking about
how they have the powerto keep her out of office.
The first time that any of ushad any idea that
that is way it was interpreted
is when the Clinton spin machineinterpreted it that way.
The Clinton spin machinespun it out.
Clinton spin machine?
That sounds like a lineBill would have used
in the '90s, right?
"Hey, you want to ridethe Clinton spin machine?"
Right? I'm just sayin'.I'm just sayin'.
-Sounds like it.-(cheering, applause)
It's... We're maybedoing those jokes
for the next eight years.That's really sad, right?
But once again, it's acting likewe can't hear something.
Like he's blaming us for hearingexactly what Trump said.
Here's what gets me about this,okay? Giuliani is...
he's here diminishing the powerof Trump's words,
but he's not alwaysso calm about language.
We've had, from on top,
a lot of divisiveness anda lot of anti-police rhetoric.
There's a targeton police officers' backs
is because of groupslike Black Lives Matter
that make it seem likeall police are against blacks.
Okay, so when Trump callsfor the violent death
of his opposition,that's just Clinton spin.
But whenit's Black Lives Matter,
they're literally killing people
with the power of their"hypnotizing Negro language."
Look, the difference betweena random protester
and someone running to bethe leader of the free world
is that once you're president,everything you say has meaning.
I'll-I'll show youhow this works.
Okay, look,here at The Nightly Show,
I-I mean, I'm the boss, right?
I'm kind of "the president"of this show, if you will.
Right? You know what I mean.Okay, now, look,
Rory Albaneseis my executive producer.
Oh, hey. What's up, Larry?Hey, great show so far, boss.
Thanks, Rory.I appreciate that, man.
-Killing it, killing it.-Now, I might be a little upset
at Rory one day, just talkingoff the top of my head,
"Man, I can't stand Rory.
Sometimes I wish somebodywould just make him go away."
Now, because I'm the bossand I have influence,
-those words mean something.-(Albanese yelling)
Oh, my God, what...what-what's going on?
Holly, what the hellare you doing?!
-What the hell are you doing,Holly?! -Holly!
Larry said you needed to die!
What the hell?! Stop it!
Holly, Holly! Leave him alone!
It was just words!
-Oh, oh, I'm sorry.-Yes.
I, uh...Your words are so powerful.
Thank you. Thank you.
-You know, I was influenced.-Exactly.
-Yeah. -Well, you know what,Holly, when you put it that way,
-actually, it's fair.What you did is fair. -Oh.
Good job, guys! Good job.
That's the power of my words,and I'm on basic cable.
So I don't care how muchthey try to spin this--
stop being so carelesswith your language. All right.
Okay, hereto explain himself...
Here to explain himself--that's right-- is Donald Trump.
(cheering and applause)
All right. Okay.
Thanks for coming, uh...thanks for coming, Donald.
Now, I have to ask you directly,
did youor did you not basically call
for the assassinationof Hillary Clinton yesterday?
Look, come on, Larry,look, did I "use"
the word "assassination"?I mean, no, I mean, come on.
I just said there was somethingpeople who believe in,
you know, the good amendment,the-the one, uh,
with the guns...
The Second Amendment?
Oh, God, leave it to a blackto know everything about guns.
-I mean, come on.-What the (bleep)?
So unbelievably typical, okay?
I just said there was somethingpeople who believe
-in the Second Amendmentcould do, okay-- -Uh-huh.
get out to vote, write letters,or do whateverly...
heavily armed, angry mobs do,okay? Whatever that is, okay?
-It's a free country, no thanksto Obama, okay? -Tha...
But I'm supposed to guesswhat they're gonna do?
-Come on. I mean, give mea break. -I feel... Look,
I feel you knowexactly what you meant,
and my fear is that they knewexactly what you meant.
Come on, look, it was a joke.
I mean, I get it.You don't know what a joke is.
Believe me, I've watchedthis show. It's awful, okay?
It's a complete disaster.
-But, uh, I am an entertainer,okay? -Really?
So, look, I'll actually writea joke right now.
Watch this.It's gonna be hilarious.
Here we go.(clears throat)
-Oh, God.-Knock, knock.
-Fine. Who's there? -Excuse me,don't interrupt, okay?
What? You said "knock, knock."
I want an answer, Donald.Did you or did you not
basically callfor the assassination
-of Hillary Clinton?-You know what, I don't need
-to answer that, Larry.I really don't, okay? -Please...
Matter of fact, I'm tiredof this political correctness
in America today.Back in the day,
a politiciancould actually straight-up shoot
a political rival,and I know because I saw that
in Black Hamilton okay?
Wait, first of all, it'sjust called Hamilton, all right?
And that's your takeaway,
that we'retoo politically correct today
and we should be shooting peoplewe disagree with?
-God, that would be great,right? Unbelievable. -No!
Look, but don't put wordsin my mouth, Larry, okay?
-I'm only joking orI'm improperly implying -I'm...
or saying one thingwhile meaning another.
It's called being entertaining,okay?
Okay, fine. Well,when are you gonna stop trying
to be entertaining andstart trying to be presidential?
When I become president, okay?
That way, whatever I dois gonna be presidential, okay?
-Stupid question.-All right, Donald...
Donald Trump, everyone.We'll be right back.
-♪ -(cheering and applause)