Gabriel Iglesias - Evolution of Life

"Well, okay, all right,you have a son.

"Do you ever think about

expanding your family,you know?"

All the time. It's just that,right now, you guys,

I'm working a lot.

And it's not to say that,you know,

there hasn't been possibilities,

'cause I've had a couple scares,you know.

And, ladies, ladies,I'll let you know right now,

if you ever thinkthat you might be pregnant,

don't do what my girl did to me.

You know, it's 2:00 a.m.

I'm already asleepand she's complain--

"I'm so nauseous.

I don't feel good."

And I wake up."You okay?"

"I think I'm pregnant.

Good night."

And she rolls over.

"Hey!"

"What?"I go, "We got to find out!"

"What are you gonna do?"

(car door shuts, car drives off)

24-hour Walgreens,that's what we're gonna do.

I get inside of Walgreens,I don't even have a clue

as to where to finda pregnancy test.

I'm looking at all the aisles.

They don't have onethat says "Oops."

You know?

So, I start going up and down,

up and down, trying to finda pregnancy test.

And then I find one, right,and I'm reading it.

And as I'm reading it,I started noticing

all the other productsthat were next to it.

And I come to findsomething out.

And that is that Walgreens,Rite Aid, CVS and Walmart

have all figured outthe evolution of life,

and they grabbed allthe products that are necessary

for a life and they stuck themin one aisle,

and they put them in orderaccording to how you mess up.

And some of you

actually knowwhat I'm talking about.

But the next time you goto one of those stores

and you see that aisleI'm talking about,

you're gonna laugh your ass off,

'cause you're gonna think of meand you're gonna be like--

you know, people are gonnabe like, "What's so funny?"

"Oh, my God, Fluffy!"

'Cause you are gonna seeexactly what I saw,

the evolution of life.

As soon as you turn the corner,

first thing you're gonna see:condoms.

Next to that: lubricant.

Next to that: pregnancy test.

Next to that: Pampers.

Next to that: formula.

And at the end of the aisle,they sell beer.